


Our Mute Farewell

by SoshiKi



Category: All Time Low, Bandom, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I promise!, Muteness, Original Band, Past Abuse, Please help me choose a relationship, Warped Tour, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoshiKi/pseuds/SoshiKi
Summary: Mute Farewell were the hottest new band rising on the rock scene, which is how they found themselves playing at the world-famous Warped Tour. As their success continued to build throughout the tour, the rumours about the band - and one member in particular - also began to build. Just who is Willa Tyler and why does she never speak? And just who will capture her heart on the Warped Tour?





	1. The Girl at the Rock Show

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, so this is my first fic in years that I'm actually publishing. This is also my first bandom fic. I just really hope you enjoy it and I will try to update as often as possible. Comments are very much welcome, as indecisive author can't choose which relationship to focus on. So, if you would like a certain one, please let me know.  
> Also I really suck at titles so it could change again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try and link chapters to songs and lyrics where possible. Chapter 1 is obviously generated from the talented Blink-182! Enjoy *^w^*

_**Willa** _

I never feel more comfortable and alive than when I am sat behind my drum-kit, arms flailing wildly in an attempt to create music for the thousands of fans gathered in front of us. Admittedly, they weren’t all fans of our band. Most of them probably had no idea who we were, but that was the point of agreeing to take part in this incredible tour. The Warped Tour was the biggest event in the music calendar and our tiny little band from Louisiana had somehow scored a spot touring with some of the biggest bands around.

Along with my brother and three of his friends, we formed Mute Farewell – a rock band that had been steadily rising in success over the last year. We were still finding our voice and had no discernible sub-genre as of yet, with some songs fairing more on the punk side and others bridging into the nu-metal sound. It was a mash-up of all our different influences coming together in a jumble of lyrics and sound.

Originally, I wasn’t in the band, as when it started (the name being the rather cringy Star Wars-themed Emo Deathstar) I was only the tender age of fourteen and I had only been playing the drums for a year. My brother and his friends were seventeen and they had recruited someone from their music class to play drums for them. Our parents let my brother and his friends practice in the garage, which had never once had a car parked in it in all the years I had lived with them. I remember fondly watching my brother and his friends playing loudly and obnoxiously in that garage, my homework often sprawled out in front of me.

I always considered myself lucky that my brother’s friends were so kind and understanding. They actually seemed to enjoy my company, and whether it was true or they were just putting up for me for my brother’s sake, I was very thankful to them. It was kind of hard for me to make friends, and while most people said it was my own fault, my brother’s friends seemed to be the only people outside my family who sympathised with me.

I agree it was partly my own fault. It is kind of hard to make friends with anyone if you don’t talk to them. But I couldn’t talk. I was mute.

When I first met my parents and my older brother, Dawson, I was seven years old. It wasn’t until I was nearly nine that I acknowledged them as such. For the first seven years of my life, someone else claimed to be my mum and she only reminded me of that fact when she was trying to make me feel guilty when she had to buy me food, clothes or shoes. It wasn’t all bad. Until I was four, I had the perfect home life. I was a happy baby and a happy toddler, surrounded by love from both my parents. My dad loved me to the ends of the Earth and back.

It was my fourth birthday when my simple, happy life turned upside down. Two days before, my dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Of course, as a cheery four-year-old, I wanted to go to the big toy store in the city and buy lots of new toys. My dad happily obliged my request. He drove me into the centre of Shreveport and we spent hours filling up the trolley with teddy bears, board games and Barbies. The traffic was starting to build-up when my dad buckled me into my child seat in the back. It was heavily padded, as my dad was so protective of me. As it turned out, that child seat saved my life. For years, I wondered why my dad didn’t have a special seat like mine. I thought it might have saved him.

My mum blamed me for dad’s death. That’s right, the death of a thirty-seven-year-old man was blamed on the whimsical birthday wishes of a four-year-old child. Looking back now, I know how ridiculous the notion is and the only person I blame was the businessman in his snazzy suit that couldn’t wait for his traffic light to change to green and collided into my dad’s car.

Mum never let me forget that it was ‘my’ fault dad was dead. Every other day I was punished simply for being alive when he wasn’t. I endured it for three years before anyone found out and put a stop to it. But I never breathed a word to anyone. At seven years old, we started swimming lessons at school which were compulsory for everyone and the changing rooms were supervised at all times by members of staff. I couldn’t hide my bruised and broken body well enough in the exposing changing rooms. My body was covered in deep cuts and bruises, as well as hundreds of old scars from the past three years. I was taken away from my mum, but the damage had already been done. I had already been mute for three years. I learned from an early age that the quieter I was, the less mum would beat me. And the few times I did dare to speak, she would beat me straight away.

Now at the age of twenty-one, I had relaxed and even grown to love my new family. I now happily boasted that my new mum, Dawson’s mum, was the kindest mother I could ever wish for. I loved both her and my new dad to pieces, as well as Dawson, but I didn’t want to throw it all away by speaking. It was irrational, but I couldn’t do it. The few times I had tried often ended up with me spending an overnight stay in hospital as the result of a panic attack. I did want to try for them, I felt like I at least owed them that much, but I couldn’t bring down those walls.

So, we found another way to communicate. My brother and my parents learnt sign-language with me, so I could speak to them that way. Eventually, my brother’s friends also wanted to learn. They were very kind to consider me like that, even if it was more for Dawson’s sake. At least in the beginning it was. The only person who did not care for my presence anywhere near the band was David, the band’s original drummer. As it turned out, he was an asshole and neither Dawson, Kyle, Jake nor Eric wanted him in the band anymore. After two years, they had had enough of his bullshit and dick moves and my brother had come up with what he claimed an awesome idea. Apparently, he had been sitting on the idea for a year and a half before finally asking the others if I could be the drummer for the band. This was before he had even mentioned the idea to me. The others agreed with his idea and tried me out. Obviously, I had passed the audition, which brings us to the here and now, playing the final song of our set on the first day of Warped Tour.

“WOOOOOOO!” Dawson screamed loudly into his microphone. He looked exactly how I felt. His medium-length blonde hair was plastered to his face, drenched with sweat, but he had the widest grin on his face. This was the moment he had been working up to his whole life. His eyes glinted as if he was a child locked in a toy store overnight. That would probably elicit the same reaction, now that I thought about it.

The decent-sized crowd that had gathered to watch us were cheering with Dawson. There were some fans who were chanting our names loudly and it felt amazing, sending shockwaves through my body. I was grinning widely behind my drum-kit, unable to keep the happiness off my face as I caught the eyes of my other band members. We all had stupidly wide smiles glued to our faces, you’d think we were trying to do really bad Joker impressions.

“Wow wow wow wow wow,” Dawson started again as he began pacing the stage. Kyle and Jake were both refuelling: chugging a water bottle each before taking another one and trying to soak each other with them. I shook my head, silently chuckling at their behaviour. Eric was stood behind his keyboard and synths, fiddling around with the wires as he began to set up for our last song. It was the title song from our first album, which we had recently released a music video for. Much to our surprise, it seemed to garner a lot of attention and that was where most of our fans at the tour came from. “This has been incredible! Just being here in LA and playing for all of you wonderful, beautiful people. We have one more song for you this afternoon and I’m sure you all know which one. The music video for this song was released a few weeks ago, and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you really should! Even if it’s just to see Eric get thrown over a boat, which we had so much fun filming.” Eric glared at Dawson from his console, but Dawson brushed it off good-naturedly as he returned the mic to the stand to mark the start of the song. “This is Beautiful Silence.”

The lights dimmed until just a single spotlight above me remained. While Dawson composed most of this song alongside Eric, they both agreed that I would open the song with a kick-ass drum solo, which I did. The audience roared to life, and out the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a little circle-pit forming. As Dawson began singing, the instruments all quietened until all that could be heard was the soft beat of my bass drum and the eerie electronic sounds from Eric’s synth set-up. Eric fancied himself as Louisiana’s answer to Joe Hahn from Linkin Park. To be fair, he fit Joe completely, as Eric was a keyboard and synth wiz, and he was also Korean. They could be long lost brothers.

This was my favourite of our songs to play, which thoroughly surprised Dawson when he presented it to us. He thought I would hate it as he took the inspiration from me coming to live with him and becoming part of the family. He knew how much I hated being centre of attention, and the thought of having a song written about me filled me with dread, but after listening to it, I was in tears. It was a beautiful song and if I had any doubt before about how much my brother loved me, it was cleared away in those three minutes and forty-seven seconds.

We didn’t finish the song in the traditional way, instead opting to have a battle to see who would stop playing first as we began playing out insanely long (and epic) riffs on our various instruments. Dawson and Kyle seemed to be fighting amongst themselves to see which guitarist would succumb first. Jake was literally in his own little world as his fingers danced along his base. His mind seemed to wander far from planet Earth most days. Eric was playing his keyboard ridiculously fast while trying to work the synths at the same time, while I went to town on my drum-kit. I couldn’t do this every set as by the end, I was pretty sure I had absolutely trashed my snare drum.

In the end, I beat the boys hands down, sealing my victory by also breaking my hi-hat. Kyle had Dawson beat almost immediately with his insane guitar riffs. Jake just kind of stopped playing and looked at us all blankly. Kyle kept playing until he somehow managed to cut his finger on the guitar strings. He was ridiculously clumsy and had a penchant for reckless behaviour. Eric kept pace with me for the longest time before surrendering and letting me win. I grinned widely with my final beats, not even bothered when my hi-hat crashed to the floor. It actually sounded and looked like a great finale.

Dawson, Kyle and Jake handed their guitars over to the techs as we began to file off stage, all five of us experiencing the most incredible high any of us had ever had. I jumped on Dawson’s back, letting him piggy-back me off the stage.

“I cannot believe you just did that, Willa!” Our band manager glared at me as we began to wander back to our tour bus. Clearly, he wasn’t happy by my little outburst at the end. “I’ve got to replace half your drum-kit!”

“Relax Vinnie,” Eric tried to reassure his brother. It was Eric’s idea to have his brother, Kevin, become our manager. As the only person we knew who had gone to university, except for myself and Dawson (our parents insisted), it seemed like the most sensible idea. Plus, he had a degree in business management, so there were probably some transferrable skills there. “It was a good show, and let’s face it,” Eric started, raising an eyebrow at his brother. “If you don’t think that we knew you would somehow prepare for this kind of nonsense, you don’t give us enough credit.” Kevin’s shoulders sunk, knowing he had been beat again. “And I promise that Wills promises to never do that again. At least not until the end of the tour.” I nodded my head from my position atop Dawson’s shoulders. Kevin just sighed resignedly and took off to the stage to help the techs dismantle our set and check the damage to my drum-kit.

“Seriously though,” Kyle started, pushing his sweat-drenched fringe out of his face. It stuck up at an odd angle, which I grinned at, causing Kyle to flip me off. “That was a fucking awesome show. This is the single greatest moment of my life.”

“And we even have fans! There were people cheering for us and singing along to our songs! Like, what the hell?” Dawson sounded out of breath as he spoke, but he was grinning widely as he spoke.

“Even Jake enjoyed himself!” Eric declared and we all turned our attention to our spacey bassist. He stared back blankly, although there was a small twinkle in his eyes. For once, he knew exactly what we were talking about and was on the same planet as us, as he soon broke into a wide smile of his own.

“It was fucking intense! I’ve never seen Wills let go like that before. You were loud, girl!” I blushed at Jake’s words and buried my head in the side of Dawson’s neck, listening as they all laughed. Dawson set me down outside our bus and let me in first so I could get changed out of my sweaty clothes in privacy. We couldn’t afford a snazzy bus like some of the other artists here. It was literally only used to transport us and our kit across the country. The beds were tiny, the ‘kitchenette’ was barely useable and there was no TV or anything on the bus. The tiny ‘lounge’ area was filled with the rest of our kit, meaning the only place we could sit was on our bunks. And the only bunks you could sit on were the top two, which were mine and Dawson’s.

I quickly washed my hair, hoping that the dye I had used the day before didn’t wash out too much. For the most-part, I kept my long, natural brunette locks; I just added different coloured dyes in streaks throughout my hair, although I had it limited to just blue, purple, red and pink. I let my hair dry natural, so it created waves that trailed down my back. I only bothered to straighten my fringe, making sure that it didn’t hang too low in my eyes and it could be swept to the side, so I could show off my piercing on my right eyebrow. I reapplied my foundation and eye-liner before finally putting on my clothes for the rest of the day. It was the first day of Warped Tour, so parties were bound to break out. Opting for something cute, yet comfortable, I pulled on my black high-waisted shorts, with a pair of fishnets on underneath. I pulled a loose-fitting tank over my head with Linkin Park’s logo artwork on it, before fixing a large beanie on over my head. For the finishing touch, I added red converse, a red spiked choker and black and white striped fingerless gloves to my ensemble, before finally letting the boys in to change.

As I left the bus, I was greeted by wolf-whistles from Kyle and Eric. Dawson rolled his eyes and Jake… Jake was staring at a pigeon. I swear to God, there was something wrong with that guy. He, Kyle and Eric began to file into the bus, the sounds of a fight breaking out as Kyle and Jake both tried to get into the shower at the same time. Dawson chuckled and shook his head, before clapping his hands on my shoulders. “We’ll be as quick as we can. Don’t wander off too far okay?” I nodded and Dawson fished in his pocket for some money. “Get yourself a bite to eat or something.” He winked and disappeared onto his bus.

As per Dawson’s request, I began to wander across the bus park, looking for some food stalls that were set up for use of the band members and crews. I clutched my pass that hung around my neck tightly, frightened of losing it as I made my way to a small crowd of people gathering around a couple of gazebos. I skirted the area hesitantly, trying to see what food was on offer.

The unmistakeable smell of fried chicken filled my nostrils. It was coming from the tent at the far end. I gave the large crowd a wide berth as I made my way over, and found a place to stand waiting at the very side of the crowd. I slowly made my way to the front, still teetering on the edge of the crowd. One of the servers approached me and asked me what I wanted. I pointed to the barbecue fried chicken and held up two fingers, asking for two pieces. The woman shrugged and began dishing it up into a box, adding a handful of fries on top. I passed her the money Dawson gave me and she passed me the box. I didn’t miss the weird look she gave me as she passed me the change. I slowly made my way from the crowd, once again skirting widely around the mass of people and found a patch of grass to sit down close to our bus so the boys could find me when they were done.

I fished my iPod out of my pocket, plugging my earphones in and pressing play on my Warped Tour playlist. We literally could not have asked for a better year to join the Warped Tour. Three of my all time (see what I did there?) favourite bands were performing. Dawson had nabbed me a schedule so I could see who was playing at what times. As Pierce the Veil’s ‘Circles’ began playing a deep voice chuckled behind me.

“Do I know that song?” Startled, I gasped and turned around. The person stopped behind me, towering above me. He was covered in tattoos and wore a red snapback over his dark hair. I could tell my mouth was hanging open as I stared up at Pierce the Veil’s drummer. Mike fucking Fuentes. He grinned widely and sat down next to me, his broad shoulder touching mine. I nervously moved to the side, putting some space between us. He tilted his head to the side, a confused look in his eyes as he looked at me. He suddenly clicked his fingers and pointed at me. “You’re the drummer from the band we were watching earlier! Dude, you killed it on stage.”

I blushed brightly at his compliment, and out of habit, I began signing the word ‘thank-you’. I was so used to having my brother or someone next to me to translate when I needed to talk. Mike frowned as he watched my hands moving. I gasped again, eyes blowing wide as I realised I was alone with him and he had no clue what I was trying to say. I desperately searched for our tour bus, trying to see if Dawson or one of the others were coming, but the door was still closed. They were probably still getting changed. I was starting to panic now. Mike was just staring at me, a million questions probably running through his mind. He reached out towards me and I quickly shuffled backwards, anxious to get away from the situation.

“H-Hey, there’s no need to panic.” Mike held his hands up next to his head. “I just saw you sitting on your own here, so I thought I could make a new friend.” His brow creased worriedly, watching as I clutched tightly to the pass around my neck. It felt as if it was strangling me, even though that was impossible. Mike looked down at my earphones, which were now lying on the grass. He looked through the songs on my iPod, before selecting one and slowly passing my earphones to me. My hands were shaking, but I didn’t pull away from him as he put the earphones in my ears. I instantly recognised the sounds of ‘Bulls in the Bronx’ playing and I just let my eyes flutter shut as I concentrated on the song. After a minute, I calmed down, opening my eyes to find Mike still sat in front of me. He smiled sheepishly and I took my earphones out again.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I didn’t realise the rumours were true.” I looked at him questioningly, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion as I wondered what he meant. “Loads of people were saying that the drummer of Mute Farewell was actually mute. I thought they were trying to be funny.” He seemed to pause for a moment, wondering what to say next. Not sure what else to do to lighten the tension, I pushed the almost forgotten box of food towards him, trying to offer him some. He seemed to understand my meaning and picked up a couple of fries, mumbling a quick ‘thanks’. I smiled and unplugged my iPod, opening up the notes app. I typed a quick message and held it up for him to read.

_**My name’s Willa, but most people just call me Wills.** _


	2. New Best Friends?

_**Willa** _

__

**_My name’s Willa, but most people just call me Wills._ **

_Mike read through the message on my iPod and I watched as an eager grin spread across his face. “Nice to meet you, Willa. I’m Mike.”_

_**I know.** _

_He chuckled softly. “So, I’m guessing you like my band then?”_

_**PTV is one of my favourites.** _

_“Only one_ _of your favourites_ _?” The pout that spread across his face was adorable. “Who else am I competing against for your affections?” I blushed brightly, my cheeks turning bright red as I began typing another reply quickly._

_**All Time Low and Sleeping with Sirens, just to name two. I kinda just like everything.** _

_He nodded his head, stealing a couple more of my untouched fries. “So, are you gonna watch our show tonight?” I nodded my head, watching as another wide smile broke out across his face. “Awesome, I’ll keep an eye out for you. We all watched your set, Vic and the others will want to meet you, y’know.” His smile faltered when he saw my startled expression. The thought of meeting all of Pierce the Veil was exciting, but I was very surprised I hadn’t scared Mike off already. “Don’t worry, I’ll warn Jaime to tone down his, err, everything.”_

_My shoulders shook slightly as I let out a silent giggle. **Thanks, the rest of my band would really like to meet you guys.**_

_“Well, maybe we could all get together after we’ve played?”_

_**But All Time Low’s on after you guys.** _ _I pouted as I showed him the message._

_“You’ve got the whole of Warped Tour to watch them.” Mike seemed to ponder for a moment before turning back to face me. “Although, I suppose we could come watch them with you.” I nodded eagerly, just as the door to my bus nearby opened. Dawson, Kyle, Jake and Eric all spilled out, Jake and Kyle apparently still arguing over who got to shower first. Dawson almost did a double take when he looked in my direction and it probably wasn’t because I was sat next to Mike Fuentes. It probably had something more to do with the fact that I was sitting next to another human being that wasn’t him or one of the band members. He ran over to me, plopping himself down next to me quickly as the rest of our band just looked at his moving figure with confused faces._

_“Hey, you okay?” That was always the first question he asked me after leaving me alone for long periods of time. I nodded my head, still smiling widely from my conversation with Mike. Dawson finally turned to look at the person sat with me and it was priceless watching the look of recognition spread across his face. His eyes bulged widely and his jaw fell open before he composed himself. But his expression was still stunned. “Are you… I mean, you’re… Jesus, Mike fucking Fuentes!”_

_He laughed and shook my brother’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I take it you’re the singer of Mute Farewell?” My brother’s gaze widened (if that was possible). “I watched your show. It was pretty damn awesome.”_

_Kyle, Jake and Eric all joined us, Eric and Kyle also stunned being in Mike’s presence. I rolled my eyes at their behaviour. Jake – for the first time ever in his life – was the level-headed one in the group. He reached a hand out for Mike to shake and introduced himself and the band. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jake and this is Dawson, Kyle and Eric. I take it you’ve met our Wills already?”_

_Mike just nodded. “Yeah, I was just saying to Willa that maybe me and my band could watch All Time Low with you guys later?” They all nodded as well and Mike stood up, wiping the dirt from the ground off his basketball shorts. “I better be off, but I’ll catch you all later?” He began to walk off in the direction of the stage, before turning back to wink at me. I blushed, watching his retreating figure as Dawson hugged me from behind._

_“Did we just meet Mike Fuentes?” I nodded, imagining the stunned expression on Dawson’s face. “Oh good, I was gonna ask someone to slap me to make sure I’m not just dreaming.”_

_“That can be arranged buddy.” Dawson let go of me just as Kyle tackled him to the ground and began lightly hitting my brother. I let out a sigh, moving out the way as they began rolling around in the dirt. Eric came to stand next to me, wrapping an arm loosely around my shoulder. I returned the awkward hug as we watched the two children play-fight._

_Checking my phone, I yanked on Eric’s shirt to draw his attention. “Hmm? Oh, it’s almost three o’clock! Sleeping with Sirens are playing, aren’t they?” I nodded, grabbing his hand and I started dragging them towards the venue excitedly. This was shaping up to be the best day of my life._

_**Mike Fuentes** _

_I figured I’d find Vic and the others loitering around a stand selling tacos. The three of them were all standing in a small huddle, minds probably far off into space. That meant it would be the perfect time for me to scare the living shit out of them all. I crept up behind Tony, knowing that none of them had even the slightest suspicion of my presence. I was standing directly behind Tony and still Jaime and Vic were measuring the sizes of their tacos. I’m not even sure what that was all about. Keeping the shit-eating grin off my face, I pounced on Tony, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He jumped up and squealed loudly, trying to worm his way out of my grasp, but he should know I wouldn’t let go that easy. Vic and Jaime burst into a fit of laughter when the saw me lift Tony off his feet and swing him around in the air._

_“Put me down, shit-head!” I finally set Tony free, but I ‘accidentally’ forgot to lower him back to the ground first, causing him to fall into a pile on the tarmac. Another round of laughter burst from Vic and Jaime, while Tony tried to give me his most menacing look… Turtle was so cute like that._

_“Where have you been, Mikey?” Jaime asked, taking a bite of his taco. “Oh damn, you should totally get one of these, they’re amazing!”_

_I shrugged my shoulders, pinching a piece of chicken from Vic’s taco. He scowled at me, turning away from me so I wouldn’t steal any more of his food. “I already ate.”_

_“So where have you been?” God, he was persistent._

“I made a new friend.” All three of them turned to look at me, waiting for me to elaborate on my answer. “You know that band we watched earlier?” They all nodded, waiting patiently – if you can believe it – for me to continue explaining. “Well, I kinda made friends with their drummer.”

“You mean the girl who absolutely killed that stage earlier? She tore her drums to pieces!” Jaime looked up at me with a jealous pout on his face. “I can’t believe you talked to her without me. She looked so cool!”

I sighed, pulling my snapback off so I could run a hand through my short hair. “How do I say this politely?” I paused, looking Jaime straight in the eyes with a dead serious expression. “You will scare her off.” Jaime’s jaw hung open, looking offended by my remark. “What? It’s true…”

“So, the rumour’s true then?” Vic spoke up beside me. He looked up at me, an unreadable expression in his eyes. I nodded and suddenly all three of them were closing in around me.

I sighed again. I still can’t believe that we’re all supposed to be mature adults… “Look, All Time Low are playing after us tonight and I know that Willa is going to see them play. She said we could watch them with her, but you’ve all got to be on your best behaviour.” I looked pointedly at Jaime as I spoke. He rolled his eyes at me, but listened closely as I spoke. “I don’t know her well, but I do know this much: Don’t overcrowd her and don’t touch her without her permission.”

“That sounds fair,” Vic spoke, his voice quieter than I was used to. “It’s not fair I have to perform with All Time Low.”

“It’s one song, man up for Christ’s sake!” I smacked the back of his head, his snapback falling to the tarmac at our feet. He picked his hat up before seizing Jaime by the arm and dragging him off towards our bus in a sulk. “Seriously, how is he the older brother?”

Tony chuckled at my exasperated tone, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “He’s just jealous. Did you see the way he watched her earlier? If you asked him to tell you how many members were in the band, he would probably only tell you the drummer. That stage might as well have been empty except for her, for all the attention Vic paid.” I chuckled. Tony was always right when it came to these things. He had a keen eye when it came to the other members. I was about to start heading for our bus to get ready for our show, but Tony stopped me before I had taken my first step. “Is the other rumour true?” He asked me, his face stone-set.

Of course, I knew which rumour he was referring to. It considered the rather delicate nature of her family. There was a lot of talk online and amongst the crowds today surrounding Willa and her brother and whether or not they were actually related. Apparently, she had been adopted by Dawson’s parents when she was a child after being rescued from an abusive home. The details vary after that, depending on who’s telling the story.

“There’s not exactly a striking resemblance between her and her brother… But the two of them are really close, so I don’t really see how it matters.”

“That makes sense.” Tony nodded to himself, seemingly floating off into his own little world. “I just hope we can make a good impression.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much,” I assured him. “She’s a fan of ours. As long as we keep Jaime under control and Vic doesn’t ogle at her the whole time, I’m sure she’ll like us just fine.”

Tony grinned and started walking towards our bus so we could prepare. I followed behind him, replaying the conversation in my head… So, our Vic had a crush… I smirked, realising I had some major blackmail material on my brother.

 

**_Willa_ **

Obviously, Sleeping with Sirens were amazing! Dawson and Eric stayed glued to my side as we watched them perform. They had been to a lot of concerts with me and they knew how much I loved to jump and dance around. It was such a huge benefit that the other bands had a little area cordoned off for us to use while watching other bands. There weren’t too many other bands watching with us, which meant more space for me to really get into the music. Dawson and Eric spent most of the show laughing at me, when I got a little overexcited if Kellin Quinn so much as looked in my direction.

Jake and Kyle were somewhere further afield, trawling through the merch stalls, as when they came back, I think they had spent all of their money. Despite his spacey nature, Jake actually paid a lot of attention, which was something I realised when he passed me a bag full of vests and hoodies. Jake knew that I chose to wear vests over t-shirts, choosing to throw a hoodie on over the top in the cooler weather. There were also wristbands dedicated to every band performing, even one for our band. I grinned widely and wrapped my arms tightly around Jake’s neck. He hugged me back, and I could feel him laughing in my ear.

“I take it you like them?” I nodded enthusiastically as I sat down on the grass and started digging around my bag. The sun was starting to set now, and with the sun gone, the wind left a slight chill in the air. I pulled one of the new hoodies out of the bag and put it on. It was a red hoodie with the artwork for Pierce the Veil’s ‘Misadventures’ printed on the back in white. I could tell Jake had bought the next size up from what I needed, as he knew I liked my hoodies baggy and not too well-fitting. He passed equally large bags to Dawson and Eric, before sitting down with us. Pierce the Veil were about to start their performance and all five of us were excited.

Dawson pulled me into his lap as the members of PTV walked on stage. I could see Mike’s head turning as he surveyed the crowd, his eyes lighting up as they finally settled on our little corner. He waved at us before settling down behind his drum-kit. As they finished preparing, another person walked onto the stage, mic in hand, his familiar long black hair hanging in his face. The eerie guitar opening of ‘King for a Day’ started playing and the audience screamed as Vic and Kellin started singing.

It was such a rush seeing one of my favourite songs being played live for the first time. I quickly found myself out of Dawson’s lap, in favour of dancing wildly in our little area. I was jumping up and spinning round excitedly. Soon enough, Dawson joined me, dancing with me and spinning me around under his arm. Through my excitement, I had apparently missed all of the cute ‘bromance’ moments Kellin and Vic had on-stage. When the song came to an end, Dawson flopped back down on the ground next to Eric, while Kyle decided to lift me onto his shoulders to ‘make sure I could see my new best friend’ as he put it.

I spent half of the concert atop Kyle’s broad shoulders and the other half dancing with Dawson, Jake and Eric alternately. It was quite a surprise to see Eric up and dancing, whereas I was quite used to Dawson and Jake’s weird slow-mo moshing… At least that’s what it looked like. By the time Pierce the Veil were finishing their last song, I had already given myself a headache from the excessive amount of head-banging. I had thirty minutes to recover while the crew set up for All Time Low, who were last act of the evening. It was already pretty late and All Time Low’s set was due to finish at half eleven.

There was five minutes left to wait and I was once again curled up in my brother’s lap. He had his arms around my waist, claiming that he was cold, whereas I just called it being clingy. I didn’t mind too much though. Dawson’s hugs were always soothing and they seemed to be working wonders on my headache. There was a loud cough behind us and we all turned our heads. Standing behind us were four very familiar Mexicans. Despite the fact that they had clearly all changed their clothes (and probably showered) there was still sweat rolling down their faces.

“Hey there, mind if we join?” Mike asked and I nodded eagerly, not even caring what Dawson or the others had to say. Mike sat himself down next to Dawson and I, with Vic sitting on his other side. Jaime sat between Dawson and Jake, while Tony simply sat in front of us with his back to the stage. Tony shrugged when Mike gave him a questioning look. I saw quite a lot of Jake in Tony.

“Did you guys enjoy our show?” Tony asked, breaking the awkward silence as Kyle and Eric stared, jaws wide open, at the Pierce the Veil members. Before we could answer, another voice interrupted us.

“Vic! I thought you said you’d wait for me!” Kellin Quinn, clad in black skinny jeans, a white printed t-shirt and a black leather jacket plopped himself down on Tony’s other side opposite Vic. I felt Dawson’s arms tighten around me. I knew he was worried for me as our little group was quickly becoming a large crowd and the centre of a lot of attention. Fans were flocking to get as close to our corner as possible, to take pictures, most of Kellin and Vic… At least that’s what I thought at the time.

I squeezed Dawson’s arm back in return and wrapped my hoodie around me more securely, as a cool breeze swept through the area. Dawson took one arm away from me and held it out for Kellin to shake, after the black-haired singer had stopped berating Vic for leaving him. “I’m Dawson and this is my sister, Willa.” I offered Kellin a small smile, trying not to recoil into my automatic shy mode. I had Dawson here with me, so there was no reason to be scared, although the rapidly increasing flock of fans behind us were starting to really put me on edge. I quickly started rolling off some signs on my hand, surprisingly not fazed by the stunned looks from Kellin and the Pierce the Veil members. “Willa says hi and it’s really nice to meet you. She’s a big fan of all of you.”

I grinned and watched as everyone introduced themselves to each other. It was so surreal being sat here having an almost normal conversation with some of the people I idolised most on the planet. “I hear you met Mike earlier,” Kellin started, holding my gaze. “I hope he didn’t scare you off with all those tats.” Mike made a move to punch Kellin, who quickly dodged it by ducking down behind Vic. I let out a breathy laugh and began signing again at my usual fast pace. It was amusing to watch the eyes of the PTV members and Kellin light up in awe every time I started signing to Dawson.

“She says, tattoos don’t scare her. She has a couple of her own and if that was the case she would have run away from our guitarist years ago.” Kyle threw me a look and flipped me off – it seemed to be a hobby of his. They all chuckled at Kyle’s expense, which was fairly common amongst our band, but now we had new friends to tease each other in front of.

“Can we see your tattoos?” Vic asked, his voice quiet. I was barely able to hear him over the din of people cheering. Apparently, All Time Low were making their way onto the stage. Knowing I had a couple of minutes before they would actually start, I stood up and rolled the hem of my shorts all the way up to show off a tattoo I had around the top of my leg. It was a tattoo of a garter belt, inked in red and black in a gothic design. I rolled my shorts back down and sat down again after the boys wolf-whistled in appreciation of my tattoo. They weren’t the only ones who appreciated as there was a loud collection of wolf-whistles from the group of fans that still had their attention on our little corner.

“That’s pretty hot,” Kellin remarked bluntly, earning himself a smack off of Vic. “What about your other tattoo? You said you had a couple?”

“Her other tattoo is on her back, and there’s no way my baby sister is taking her top off here or anywhere for that matter.” Dawson’s tone was defiant and I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. The boys looked a little put down that they couldn’t see it, but they were fairly understanding. Only two people had ever fully seen the large tattoo on my back and was my brother and my tattoo artist, Johnny. As I positioned myself comfortably in Dawson’s lap I remembered that I had actually been to the parlour the day before and seen Johnny, although I had actually gone to see his sister, Clara. She did all of my piercings, as well as Dawson’s, Kyle’s and Jake’s. Eric was the only one in our band that didn’t have any piercings, although he did have a tattoo on his right wrist that read: _‘Take everything from the inside and just throw it all away’._ It was the lyrics to his favourite Linkin Park song. I signed again to Dawson, saying: **_I got this done yesterday before we left._**

Dawson stared at me blankly, as did Eric, Kyle and Jake. “What did you get done yesterday?” Kyle was the first one to pipe up, beating my brother who still stared at me, confused. Being mute had one perk, and it was this. I was able to keep my newest piercing a secret for over a whole day. I opened my mouth, showcasing the bar piercing running through the fleshy part under my tongue.

“Whoa! Is that a tongue web piercing?” I nodded as Tony admired my piercing. “That’s so cool!”

Everyone seemed to admire the new addition except from my brother who remained very silent behind me. **_What is it?_**

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

**_I wanted it to be a surprise._ **

Dawson seemed to be in a strop with me, but I just ignored him as All Time Low finally started, opening their show with ‘Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don’t’. I immediately started dancing and jumping up and down, decidedly leaving Dawson to sulk like a child. Jake lifted me onto his shoulders and started running around the tiny space with me just sitting on top of him, flailing his arms like a mad thing, as I clung tightly to him to stay balanced.

At some point, Vic disappeared, but I had barely noticed, happily in my own world as I watched All Time Low playing. Eventually, Jake had to put me down, seeing as he barely had any muscles on him. Dawson was still sulking and Eric and Kyle were talking to some of our new friends. There was a small group in front of me, and I couldn’t see over the top as I was relatively short. Kellin walked up to me and gingerly tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to look at him, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He stepped back as I tried to relax my tensing shoulder and I gave him a small smile.

“Do you wanna hop on my shoulders?” he asked me, not looking in my eyes, instead choosing to stare at his feet. “I mean, Vic’ll be on soon with them and I bet you want to see that.”

I nodded, biting my lip shyly as I watched Kellin’s face lighten up excitedly. He crouched down in front of me, letting me climb on his shoulders. He waited until I was secure on his shoulders, before standing up. I had a clear view of the stage, just as Vic ran on stage and tackled Alex in a giant hug. Another cute bromance. Vic waved at me and Kellin as Jack Barakat began playing the opening bars of ‘A Love Like War’. While Alex sung, Vic spent the time throwing himself around the stage and pulling silly faces at me, Kellin, Mike, Tony and Jaime. It was fucking adorable, but when it came to his parts to sing, he literally threw himself into the moment and into Alex. At one point the pair of them ended up on the floor, Vic pulling Alex on top of him so Alex didn’t damage his guitar. They both just laughed, the sweet sound echoing in their microphones and across the arena.

The show continued for another hour, Vic re-joining us once he had changed yet again. Even after just one song, he was a sweaty mess. I grinned widely from high above when Vic returned, although I was only just taller than Mike while balancing on Kellin’s shoulders. Never had I been so comfortable around near strangers in my life. It was an amazing feeling as I watched All Time Low perform, every so often exchanging smiles and excited gestures with Kellin and Pierce the Veil. The moment was almost perfect.

It was a shame Dawson had to ruin it all with his bad mood.


	3. Old Scars, Future Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from All Time Low *^w^*

_**Willa** _

 

Sometime after All Time Low’s show, a bonfire had started at the back of the coach park. Jake, Kyle, Eric and I eagerly ran over to hang out with the other bands, but Dawson decided to stalk over to our tour bus, leaving us to ‘get on with whatever’. As we walked in the direction of the smoke that was billowing into the sky above us, I couldn’t help but look back over my shoulder, staring at my brother’s retreating figure. I wasn’t the only one, as I caught Eric’s gaze as I turned my head back to watch where I was walking.

**_What’s wrong with Dawson?_ **

Eric sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “I have no idea. He’s been kind of weird this evening. He’s probably just tired, it’s been a crazy day.” Both Eric and I broke out in wide grins as we thought about all we had accomplished in just a few short hours.

I linked arms with Eric and Kyle, walking over to the bands gathered around the fire. Pierce the Veil were standing with their back to us. I broke away from my bandmates and started creeping up behind the four Mexicans. Kellin caught my eye from the side and he was clearly about to shout out to me, so I quickly put a finger to my lips, telling him to be quiet. He nodded, turning back to talk to his bandmate, Justin. I stopped when I came to stand directly behind Mike. I took a deep breath, (deciding that this was the perfect moment to start opening up to people) before wrapping my arms tightly around Mike’s middle. Seeing as he was so tall and I was rather short, I did have to stand on my tiptoes a little bit. He jumped slightly and turned around. I felt him relax as he noticed me hugging him.

“Well, this is unexpected.” Mike bent down to hug me back, lifting me into the air and swinging me round. As soon as he set me down, I found four pleading puppy expressions fixated on me. Vic had his arms wide open, waiting for me to jump in for a hug. His marble eyes were begging and I just couldn’t say no. So, I ran into Vic’s waiting arms and hugged him tight, repeating the process with Tony, Jaime and finally, Kellin.

“Welcome to the first party of Warped Tour!” Kellin declared as he also swung me around, although my toes grazed the ground as he wasn’t quite as tall as Mike or Tony. “Apparently, Jack decided to start a bonfire by burning Rian’s drumsticks…” I looked over to the bonfire, where All Time Low’s Jack was threatening to throw Alex’s guitar in the fire. He ran around as the singer chased after him, laughing maniacally.

Vic laughed as he watched them, coming to stand beside me. He held a bottle up in front of my face, which I took from him. Much to my surprise it was a mango and raspberry cider – my favourite. I looked up at him questioningly and he turned to point at Eric. “He told me it’s your favourite.” I nodded and signed the word ‘thanks’ to him. I saw him paying close attention to my hands and he even tried to copy my movements. I did it again, slowing it down so Vic could copy it again. Childlike happiness spread across his face when I nodded, letting him know he had got it correct. He showed Kellin his new skill, who just looked at us confused.

“Please tell me you just taught him a swear word or something?” Kellin asked, an amused smirk on his face. I shook my head and Kellin’s face fell slightly.

“Does it mean thank-you, or something like that?” Vic asked and I nodded. He jumped up and down like an over-excited Labrador. “Will you teach me something else?” I started signing again, making a conscious effort to slow down all of my movements so Vic could catch-on. Once he had got the hang of it, he showed it off in front of our little group – Kyle, Eric and Jake bursting into laughter once he had finished. “What did I say?”

“You said and I quote,” Kyle started, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “‘Willa is the most amazing drummer ever and I smell like farts.’”

Vic looked at me with a heartbroken expression. “Did I really say that?” I nodded and hung my head low, feeling guilty. “I don’t smell like farts…”

I knew Vic was putting on an act, trying to get sympathy from me. I could see the glimmer in his eyes, hoping I would say something to contradict that statement, but I wasn’t going to let him win that easy. Mike caught my gaze and carefully put an arm round my shoulders. “God, Vic smells awful, doesn’t he?”

Vic was suddenly tackling Mike to the ground… Well, trying to anyway. Mike kept his feet firmly on the ground and it looked more like Vic was hugging his brother’s waist. Kellin and I stood to the side, watching the two brothers fight. Kyle was talking to Jaime about hair products, seeing as our lead guitarist was fixated on the state of his hair. I rolled my eyes as I caught part of their conversation.

“Well, I’m trying to grow my hair out longer, but it’s just so flat.” Kyle whined to Jaime who had started playing with my friend’s hair, combing it with his fingers. I frowned as I watched the two of them. I exchanged a confused look with Kellin who sat down with me on a patch of grass.

“That’s a little… strange.” I nodded in agreement, taking a large swig of my cider, the pair of us deciding to keep listening to Kyle and Jaime.

“Dude, your hair is awesome!” Jaime had a point. Kyle had long chestnut hair, which he kept dead straight. It stopped somewhere down the middle of his back and before coming on the tour, Kyle had a beaded braid fixed into his hair. The beads had tribal patterns on it which matched Kyle’s tattoos that ran along the expanse of his torso, running up the back of his neck and down his shoulder and forearm.

Kellin leaned in close to my ear and I made a conscious effort not to pull back from him. He dropped his voice to a low whisper, his eyes fixed on Jaime and Kyle.

“Kyme? Or Jaile?” he wiggled his eyebrows as he suggested the couple names. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, quickly typing a reply for Kellin.

**_Kyme? I ship it!_ **

Kellin laughed loudly as he read the message, attracting attention from everyone gathered around the bonfire. I blushed, dipping my head down low.

Some time passed by in silence between us, but the ‘party’ didn’t show any signs of stopping. It was almost 1am, but I was perfectly awake and content sitting in peaceful silence with Kellin. We both finished our drinks and he offered to grab me another one. While he was gone, it was the perfect time to see what the others were doing. Eric was sitting on a large tree-log near the fire with his brother. It looked like Eric had gotten into another drunken, emotional heart-to-heart conversation with Vinnie about the meaning of life. It happened more often than you’d think.

I searched around for Jake, but I couldn’t find a trace of him anywhere. My first thought was that he’d gone back to our bus to join Dawson, but that seemed unlikely. When I realised I couldn’t find Tony either, I realised that the two of them had probably wandered off and got themselves into trouble somewhere. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mike walking around looking rather lost. I walked over to him and he immediately asked me if I had seen Tony. I shook my head and wrote another message on my iPod.

**_I can’t find Jake either._ **

We searched around the coach park, Kellin assisting us in our search after he brought drinks back for us. As I started chugging the bottle of cider, movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I focused my sight on the two dark figures, barely visible against the night sky. Tony and Jake were sitting on top of someone’s tour bus, apparently looking at the stars and chugging beers. I tapped Mike’s arm next to me and pointed at the two of them.

“Whose bus is that?” Mike asked, apparently not wondering why they were up there in the first place.

“Ours,” a voice called behind us. The three of us turned around, Mike and Kellin grinning widely as they confronted the four guys stood in front of us. I had just spent the most part of the last few hours watching them running around and fooling about with each other, and now All Time Low were stood in front of me. Their faces looked dead serious as they gazed up at Jake and Tony, who still hadn’t realised they now had a highly-confused audience. Alex stepped forward, squinting his eyes as he tried to make out who it was up on their bus. “Why are they up there?” he asked, before turning to Mike. “Is that Tony?”

“Yeah, it is and I have no idea.” Mike looked at me, his lips pursed in confusion. “Does Jake smoke pot or something?”

Shaking my head, I typed out another reply: **_No, this is perfectly normal behaviour for him._**

Mike decided to finally catch their attention by calling out to them. “Why are you two up there?”

Both Jake and Tony looked stunned at us, but they quickly composed themselves. Jake shrugged in answer, before deciding that we probably couldn’t see that very well in the dark. “Why not?”

Kellin chuckled beside me and gave Mike and I a pointed look. “He is exactly like Tony.”

“Who is that guy?” I had almost forgotten that All Time Low were standing directly behind us, watching the same scene unfurl. I was suddenly embarrassed as Mike started to introduce me and my band. I did not want to be associated with Jake in that moment.

“Well, that’s Jake. He’s in Mute Farewell along with Willa here.” Mike gestured towards me, and I couldn’t stop myself from backing away slightly from the four fixed gazes in front of me. “She’s their drummer and she’s pretty damn awesome too. She absolutely tore up her drum-kit earlier.”

“Oh yeah! I heard about that!” Rian suddenly spoke up animatedly. “Damn, we wanted to watch that show as well. We kind of heard you from the interview tents at the back and you guys sounded pretty awesome.” I once again signed my ‘thanks’, seeing as almost everybody else now knew what that looked like as I had said it so many times.

“Ooh, I know what that means!” Kellin jumped up beside me. Clearly, the conversation now had steered completely away from Jake and Tony, who were still doing their own thing. “It means thank-you!” I nodded as the thirty-year-old singer puffed his chest out proudly.

A look of recognition fell across the four faces in front of me. “It’s true then?” Jack blurted out, quickly covering his mouth with his hands after he realised he had said something he shouldn’t have.

 _‘Great,’_ I thought to myself. _‘Rumours are spreading about me like wildfire…’_

“Real fucking smooth Jack,” Alex smacked Jack around the back of the head, but they were all still staring at me. It was a little unnerving to say the least. I balled my hands into fists and crossed my arms to stop myself from shaking. I could feel the panic starting to settle in and with Jake on top of a bus, Eric drunk and emotional and Kyle off talking with Jaime in some dark corner, that left Dawson as my only option and for some unknown reason, he was in a mood.

My throat felt increasingly tighter when Mike put a gentle hand on my shoulder. In the back of my mind, I knew he was just being friendly but I just couldn’t ditch the uneasy feeling that was building in the pit of my stomach. As if he read my mind, Mike removed his hand and leaned in close, his lips just next to my ear, but thankfully not touching. “Go find your brother.”

I nodded and took off as fast as my jellied legs would carry me, heading straight for our worn-out old tour-bus. Scenery and people rushed by me, (or was I rushing passed them?) but everything seemed to be in slow motion. My vision blurred towards the periphery and the sounds were low and muffled as if there was a wall between me and the people around me. I fumbled with the door handle, yanking the door almost off its rusty hinges in my hurry to get inside. Little did I know how much I would soon be wishing I had stayed outside.

This had only ever happened twice before in my life, but both times I had been exposed to my drunken and depressed brother, I had never been more scared since coming to live with him and my new parents. Whenever my brother took up the bottle when he was angry, he turned into a monster. He still looked like my brother – lanky stature, soft, blonde locks that made girls jealous of him and those piercing blue eyes. But it was the eyes that gave it away. My chest heaved up and down as I let out a shuddering breath. His eyes took on a dark, menacing gaze, pupils blown wide with anger and alcohol. He clutched the bottle in his hand tightly, emptying it of its last drop before promptly throwing it in my direction. The bottle crashed into the wall beside me, shattering upon impact.

Dawson stood up, snarling – making a noise that did not sound at all human. The panic set deeply in my bones and I couldn’t even rationalise that the person stood in front of me was just my brother, who loved me dearly. I shouldn’t feel the need to run from my brother, but that was exactly what I found myself doing. I forced my legs to carry me far away from him and everybody else, only stopping when I reached the chain-link fence that surrounded the bus park. As soon as I stopped, my legs gave way beneath me. My knee scraped the tarmac as I fell and I let out a quiet hiss in pain. Crumpled on the floor, I let the tears run freely as I desperately tried to catch my breath. I cradled my arms, crossing them over my chest, trying to keep myself together as I felt my grip on reality slowly slipping away. The world around me was crumbling, falling away into dust, which clogged my lungs and made it even harder to breathe. I scratched at my throat, trying to stop the burning every time I tried to take a breath, but the flame grew even more intense.

Would this be the end? Tucked away in a far corner of the bus-park at The Warped Tour? I really hoped not, but with the only sound filling my ears my wheezing breaths, it was difficult to think otherwise.

“H-Hey! HEY!” A frantic voice sifted through the white noise of dying. My hands were now tightly shut over my ears, (I don’t even remember moving at all) and I was curled up on the ground, knees tucked into my chest. “Hey, Willa, look at me!” The voice was warm and pleading. I desperately wanted to open my eyes, confront the familiar stranger, but everything hurt so much. I could no longer move at all, only stay curled up as sobs and wheezes tore from my throat.

That was always the bit that scared me the most, not being in control of my own body anymore. I hadn’t had a panic attack this bad in the last five years, I thought that maybe they had finally stopped – that maybe I grew out of it or something.

I felt my body moving but my brain was no longer connect to my limbs, so I couldn’t understand how I had suddenly moved from the rough tarmac onto something soft and warm. Whatever it was that I was now laying on was moving. Something was moving against my hair in a slow up-and-down motion and it was soothing. The voice started again, close behind my ear and this time evened out into a warm, soulful sound.

“In the dark there’s a light that’s calling everyone out,

If you could see beyond the walls that you have built.

I know it’s hard to escape the past and start it again,

Those memories of all the future hearts you killed.

 

I don’t wanna be the one that’s left behind,

Don’t blame me, don’t hate me.

I don’t wanna be the one that’s left behind.

 

I won’t fade away,

Be forgotten or just cast away,

This life is mine to live

I won’t fade away,

I am lost inside this endless haze of life,

But this life is mine to live.”


	4. Don't Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another All Time Low chapter title. Awesome album if you haven't checked it out *^w^*

**_Alex Gaskarth_ **

****

Willa was passed out in my arms. I had felt panic of my own starting to take over when I saw her. Her frail body was curled in on itself and she was clutching her hair tightly. Her whole body shook as she tried to draw in those long wheezing breaths, barely catching any air at all. I told her to look at me and while her eyes did open, it was obvious she didn’t see me. I crouched in front of her, staying close without touching her and I could see the pain and the fear. It was almost like looking in a mirror. I knew the feeling too well and I also knew that there was very little I could do for her now. You can talk someone down from a building panic attack, but once it takes hold, the only thing you can really do is ride it out with them and try and lessen as much of the pain for them.

So, that’s what I did. I took her in my arms, being careful not to catch her scraped knee as I lifted her from the cold tarmac. I wrapped her up in my jacket and held her close as she shook against my chest. I remembered how my mum used to hold me and stroke my hair until the moment passed, so I gently began combing my fingers through her soft, colourful locks. “Just breathe, Willa.” She couldn’t hear me – of that I was certain. Her hands were still tightly clamped shut over her ears and those loud, despairing wheezes were multiplying. I was beginning to get worried. If this didn’t pass soon, she could be in real danger.

So, I sang. The first song that popped into my head. I quickly realised that my voice must have penetrated the fog that was clouding her senses. Her eyes were still unseeing – blinded by pain, but her muscles slowly began to relax until they all seemed to collapse at once. I listened for a moment, scared that perhaps she had stopped breathing, but a low, raspy rattle quickly settled my fears. As time passed, her wheezes faded into long shudders, eventually disappearing into steady, evenly-spaced breaths.

I couldn’t tell how long had passed until someone found me, sat on the ground behind the rows of tour-buses in a secluded little corner, with a pale, fragile girl curled up in my lap. Thankfully, it was Rian and Zack who found me, with Jack probably running around naked somewhere in the distance. They both shared a sympathetic look before promptly plopping themselves down on either side of me.

“Dude, what happened?” Zack asked, his gaze fixated on the broken girl in my arms. I suddenly felt protective of her, as my bandmates continued to ogle at her. She didn’t need that kind of pity or attention.

I shrugged my shoulders at Zack’s question. “I don’t know. I was taking a quiet walk and I found her on the ground. It was clearly a panic attack… A really bad one too.”

Rian looked lost in thought for a second before turning his head to speak to me. “Didn’t Mike say something about her going to find her brother or something? Like, just before she ran off. She looked really ill then.”

I nodded, musing over the thought. “Maybe something happened with him?” I shook my head, not wanting to speculate on the maybes and the what could haves. I sighed, gently raking my fingers through her hair again. “Either way, she’s going to need to see a doctor or something in the morning. She was barely breathing.”

There were a few minutes of tense silence before Zack spoke up again. “I’m sure your arms are perfectly comfortable Alex, but you should probably get her in a bed, with several thick blankets…”

Zack did have a point. The cold night wind was growing stronger and Willa’s nearly-bare legs were breaking out in goosebumps. I carefully stood up, cradling her close to my chest, hoping that I could keep her warm with my own body heat. We slowly made our way through the coach-park, where it seemed that most people had turned in for the night. The buses would all be leaving in the early morning for San Diego, so most people would want to get some shut-eye before the buses started moving. The bonfire Jack had started had already died out and as we drew closer to the main site, the sound of excited chatter had all but died. But apparently, the chatter had grown more serious than the hours previous.

“Kyle, look after Eric, Me and Jake are going to sort out the bus. There’s broken glass everywhere and Dawson’s a crying mess.” We slowly turned the corner into the clearing where the remains of the bonfire had just finished burning out and found four people in a deep huddle, although it looked more closely like one of them was being held up by the others. I remembered seeing them earlier. I immediately recognised the scrawny guy with black hair, fringe hanging in his eyes, who had previously been sat atop our bus with Tony Perry. I also recognised the long brunette locks that Jaime Preciado had his fingers in not even an hour ago. I was fairly certain these were Willa’s band members and my suspicions were confirmed when three stunned faces (and one drunken confused face) confronted us.

“Willa! Oh, thank God!” A guy who looked to be in his thirties and way too smartly dressed for Warped Tour, stopped in front of us, gazing intently at Willa. He was Asian, and at a guess, probably the older brother of the drunk and disorderly guy in Kyle’s arms. “Is she okay?” He looked at me like he was expecting me to just hand her over, but for some unknown reason, I couldn’t fathom letting her go. It was because I knew how it felt to be in her shoes. Or at least, that was how I reasoned it.

“Um, no she’s not okay. Not really. I found her having a panic attack.” The guy in front of me nodded his head, clearly understanding the whole situation better than I did. “Look, I was thinking she could stay on our bus tonight. It sounds like you guys are pretty tied up at the moment.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. It’s better if she’s away from Dawson for tonight. He turns into a giant asshole after a few drinks.” He paused before continuing, looking at Willa fondly. “Just look after her. She’s important to all of us and Dawson is going to damn near kill himself when he sobers up in the morning.”

“Yeah, of course. She can ride with us in the bus tomorrow morning.”

Willa’s band members parted ways shortly after that. Kyle slowly walked Eric over to a patch of grass to sit down while they waited for Jake and Kevin to tidy up the bus. Listening to their conversation, it sounded as though Dawson had thrown a tantrum, as well as a few glass bottles inside their tour-bus. I carried Willa onto our own tour-bus, ignoring the confused glances from our crew. I placed her in the bunk opposite mine, so I could keep an eye on her overnight if needed and fetched some spare bedding from the overhead storage cabinet above Jack’s bunk.

“It’s like looking in a mirror, isn’t it?” Rian startled me, clapping a hand on my shoulder. He climbed into the bunk above mine, while Zack carefully climbed into Jack’s bunk. He shot me a wink after seeing my apologetic grimace for giving his bed away. He muttered something about Jack either having to sleep on the floor or bunking with Rian for the night. “She’ll be okay, you know. You always are.” Rian threw his t-shirt at me as he spoke, trying to lighten up the mood. Yes, he did have a point, but I also knew how completely terrified I could get in the aftermath of a panic attack. I often had days on end when I couldn’t sleep for night terrors, which made it pretty unbearable for anyone to be around me. Lack of sleep made me into an incredibly cranky and downright rude human being. Although, looking at Willa, I didn’t exactly see her losing her temper any time soon.

I climbed into my own bed, changing into a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms and snuggled under my covers. It was only the first day of Warped Tour, but I was already completely exhausted, although I blamed most of that on having to chase Jack around the bus park for an hour. It didn’t take long to fall asleep and the bus was already making its way to San Diego when I woke the next morning.

 

**_Willa_ **

 

My head ached terribly and there was a heavy weight on top of me. I tried to open my eyes, but the light was burning my retinas. I wanted to shield myself from the light, but my arms and legs felt as though they were made of lead. I was vaguely aware of voices somewhere nearby, but my ears felt like they had been stuffed with cotton, so any discernible conversation had just become muffled white noise. This continued for an hour as I teetered on the brink of consciousness. Memories flooded my mind from the events of the night before. In particular, the ones that had led to this state I was now in.

After some time, my body began to feel lighter – although I still felt like a dead weight – and I was slowly starting to pick out voices and words from a conversation happening nearby.

“Let’s take bets on who we think Jack ended up with last night. Fifty bucks a piece.”

“Haha, okay, well my money’s on Sleeping with Sirens.”

“No way dude! I reckon he tried – and failed – to get with Taylor, so I’m going with The Pretty Reckless.”

“What do you think Alex?”

The conversation seemed to pause for a long moment, before a familiar voice spoke through the thick haze in my mind. The voice resurfaced more of the memories from last night and I realised this wasn’t the first time I heard the warm, soothing tones.

“He spent most of last night trying to coax I Prevail to party with us. I’m guessing he probably succeeded and crashed on their bus last night. I also reckon he’s going to still be asleep when we arrive and more than likely just in his boxers.”

“That’s a pretty detailed bet Gaskarth… Get ready to cough up your money.”

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as the bus erupted in laughter. Alex Gaskarth had been the one to sit with me last night. He had held me through my panic attack and even sung to me. And apparently, he had also let me sleep on his bus overnight. For that, I was highly grateful for. I was definitely not prepared to deal with a hungover and guilt-ridden Dawson right now and a part of me wanted to make him suffer for the shit that he pulled last night.

Sluggishly, I sat up, letting the heavy weight of the blankets fall off me. My limbs still felt weighed down and my head felt like this gigantic weight that could fall off my shoulders at any moment due to the excessive thumping that was drilling into the back of my skull.

“Morning princess.” I slowly lifted my head to find the voice that had spoken. My eyes met the dark orbs of Alex Gaskarth, who was smiling sheepishly as he crouched down next to me. He held his hand out, offering me two pills. A small white pill, which I was all too familiar with. It was a headache reliever that my doctor had prescribed to me to take after having a panic attack. The second pill was rather large in size compared to the little round headache pill and it was bright orange in colour. I took the headache reliever from Alex, and looked questioningly at the orange capsule in his hand. “It’s just a vitamin. I always find they help me regain energy. Plus, it will help with the headache.”

Alex passed me a bottle of water and I downed both pills quickly. If I wanted to have any chance of playing today, I was going to need all the help I could get. Alex leant me a panda onesie, which I wore for the rest of the journey to San Diego. I sat with Alex, Rian, Zack and their crew, observing silently as they all messed around with each other. It was endearing to watch them.

I was starting to fall asleep, completely exhausted, despite barely moving since I woke up. My headache had eased up slightly, but now I found myself unable to keep my eyes open. I hadn’t even realised that my head was slowly falling onto Alex’s shoulder until the bus suddenly stopped, jolting me awake.

“Hey, are you gonna be alright to play later?” Alex asked, smiling down fondly at me. I offered a small smile of my own in return and nodded my head, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “If not, I’m sure Rian could fill in for you.” Alex winked as Rian perked his head up in our direction at the mention of his name. I took my phone out of my pocket and quickly typed a response for Alex, which he read out.

**_I don’t think he could keep up._ **

The tour bus roared with laughter, Rian blushing brightly at the response Alex read out to him. “That sounds like a challenge!” Alex declared loudly, creating an even louder ruckus, as the bus occupants cheered loudly. The happy atmosphere quickly fell away though, when a loud knock sounded on the door of the tour bus. Everyone paused, as they began to speculate who it could be, but I already knew. The bus had been stopped for only a minute, so it was no surprise that when I opened the door, I came face-to-face with a very solemn looking Dawson.

“Hey sis, can we talk?”


	5. Let That Mistake Pass On...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Roads Untravelled - Linkin Park. This is an amazing song and I strongly recommend that you give it a listen *^w^*

**_Willa_ **

 

“Hey sis, can we talk?” At those words, I quickly stepped off of All Time Low’s bus, firmly shutting the door behind me, before I walked off to find a quiet corner to – no doubt – get into an argument with Dawson. There was a long pause, while Dawson paced nervously in front of me. “Look, Wills, I am so sorry about last night!”

I stared at him with a steely glare. I was not ready to forgive him any time soon, not even with his kicked puppy expression. **_Mind telling me what happened yesterday?_** My signing was frantic as I bore holes into my older brother with my glare.

Dawson scratched the back of his head, his gaze dropping to the floor as he hung his head low. “I’m really sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper, guilt dripping in his tone. “I don’t know what came over me.”

**_It looked to me like you were jealous last night. But why?_ **

“J-Jealous?” He seemed surprised by my words. I gritted my teeth together, clenching my fists to stop myself from launching at him, like I did when we got into fights when I was younger. It was clear that there was something about me hanging out with my new friends that he didn’t like. I thought that maybe he would be proud of me, or that he would feel some relief after seeing me becoming more independent and making friends of my own volition. “I-I guess I was, huh?”

Dawson looked at me, a hopeful glint in his eyes. He was still hoping I would forgive him easily, as if last night was just a little blip – a small mistake. “I guess you’ve outgrown me…” He puffed out a breath as he spoke and looked up at the sky. The late morning sun was shining brightly overhead and probably burning Dawson’s hangover-soaked retinas. “...and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the thought of you not needing me anymore.”

**_You fucking idiot._ **

Dawson looked at me stunned after reading my signs. This was the first time I had ever swore at him like that. I wasn’t a malicious person, but Dawson had managed to get right under my skin with his blatant stupidity.

**_What a load of shit._ **

I was seething as I stared my brother down. Did he seriously think his jealousy and plain ridiculous thinking was a good enough excuse for what he put me through? I certainly didn’t think so. I had never hit another person before in my life, but in this anger-fuelled moment, my fist was itching with a burning passion to clock my brother in the face.

“Do you hate me?” Dawson asked, his voice fearful as he tried to anticipate my answer.

**_No._** I paused. **_But I don’t like you at the moment. You’re a total ass._**

He hung his head low, clearly feeling guilty. I raised a hand to my head, massaging my temple with two fingers as my headache returned in full force. Dawson took a step towards me, but I held up my other hand, motioning him to stop. I took in a deep breath and noticed in my periphery as All Time Low climbed out of their bus. I waved to grab their attention, and turned away from my brother. I was done with our conversation for now. We had a couple of hours before our show, so that would give him a couple of hours to stew in his remorse.

I broke into a fast jog, catching up to Alex, Zack and Rian while they waited for me. They explained that they were going to start knocking on tour buses in their search for the All Time Low guitarist, but more importantly to see who had won the bet. The rest of the crew had wandered off ahead of them, but we soon caught up, coming to a stop outside Sleeping with Sirens’ bus first. Alex gently nudged my shoulder and leaned his head down, his lips just millimetres away from my ear.

“You doing okay?” I nodded my head, giving him a small smile, which seemed to satisfy him. Zack rapped his knuckles on the door of the tour bus loudly, eliciting loud groans from the occupants inside. Rian raised an eyebrow – his bet was looking rather positive.

The door swung open and we were immediately greeted by a half-asleep Kellin, clad only in a black tee and boxer shorts, hair tousled from sleep. I averted my eyes, turning my head away from Kellin, but not before I caught the blush creeping up his cheeks when he took in his audience. He quietly mumbled “He’s not here,” and promptly shut the bus door again. I couldn’t stop the grin spreading across my face as we turned away and proceeded to try the next bus: The Pretty Reckless.

It turned out The Pretty Reckless were a bust, but apparently, Taylor Momsen was more of a morning person than Kellin Quinn. She had a short conversation with us, in which I quietly observed from the side while secretly admiring her amazing figure. Taylor was my ultimate girl-crush. She had an amazing body, a beautiful face, and an immeasurable amount of talent. I was also incredibly envious of how her jeans hugged her ass so well. I needed to learn her secret.

“Okay…” Rian started as he and Alex walked beside me, Zack flanking the drummer’s other side. “If Alex is right, I will shove both my drumsticks up my ass.” I frowned as I visualised his words.

“Well, it looks like we’ll need a new drummer then,” Alex replied in a cocky tone. “Do you want the job Willa?” I shrugged and nodded nonchalantly. Alex snickered beside me. “Or are you secretly hoping for a spot to open up in The Pretty Reckless?” I stared at Alex with wide eyes, a blush creeping quickly up my cheeks. “I think you were perving on Taylor harder than Jack ever has. I saw you checking out her ass.”

I flipped the singer off, and ran ahead to walk with Flyzik and the rest of the crew. I heard sniggering behind me before I was suddenly lifted into the air by two big hands under my arms. A rush of air swept passed me and I found myself deposited on the back of a muscled hulk of a man. My chest heaved as I tried to adjust to my now high-up surroundings. Zack turned his head up to look at me, grinning when he caught my wild gaze. I wrapped my arms securely around his neck, holding onto him for dear life. Alex and Rian were laughing on either side of us, clearly having been the ones to orchestrate this whole plan. Zack was too sweet to consider something like this… Surely?

“Hey Wills,” Zack spoke so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him. “Can you loosen your grip a little? I don’t fancy being choked today.” I blushed and moved my hands so they were holding onto his shoulders tightly instead. “I suppose that’s better…” He chuckled, letting me know he was only half-serious, but I knew that my nails were digging into the fabric of his t-shirt with my nerves.

We came to a halt outside the final bus on our ‘Finding Jack Barakat Tour’. There was a sign on the side of the bus, (which was more up-market than ours, but not as swanky as the inside of All Time Low’s had been) that read ‘I Prevail’ in bold writing. Alex hesitantly knocked on the door, clearly praying to some higher power that he had won the ridiculous bet, while Rian helped me off Zack’s impossibly broad shoulders. We were invited inside by one of the band members, who looked as exhausted as I felt. Once inside the van, I was confronted with a sight that I was more than happy to permanently erase from my memory. The loud cheer from Alex told me everything I needed to know, but the sight on the tour-bus floor confirmed who had won the bet and also confirmed that Alex clearly knew his best friend too well.

All Time Low’s skunk-haired guitarist was lying on the floor of the bus, empty beer bottles lying next to his head as he snored loudly, sound asleep and oblivious to his audience. And just as Alex had predicted, he was only wearing his boxers, which were decorated with red and white stripes and left nothing to the imagination. I left the bus fairly quickly after that, not missing the groans from Rian, Zack and the crew as Alex tried to wake Jack up with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Rian followed me off the bus and came to stand beside me, while I leaned against the tall vehicle. The air was tense, with neither of us speaking. My interactions with everyone had been so natural until now. Although waking up on another band’s bus after having a bad panic attack didn’t exactly call for natural conversation. I was anxious, wondering just what they had thought of me the previous night.

“Well, looks like I’m fifty bucks poorer,” Rian joked with a breathy laugh. He rubbed the back of his neck, surveying the coach park around us, no doubt trying to plan out where everybody was. I took out my iPod to type out a response, trying to keep the atmosphere light and airy.

**_Looks like you’re going to need a replacement drummer too… Can’t play drums very well with your sticks stuck where the sun don’t shine._ **

He laughed loudly, the sound echoing in the wide-open space. “I guess you’ve got yourself a new gig then. I’m sure Alex and the others will be more than happy to have you while I’m recovering.”

**_Did nobody ever teach you not to make bets you can’t keep?_ **

He shook his head. “I felt for sure that there was no way Alex was right. His bet was just way too detailed. I should be used to get my butt kicked by now, huh?” I nodded, eliciting another loud chuckle from the drummer. We stood in comfortable silence for a few long moments, the tension in the air having been significantly lifted. “You know,” he started, staring up into the striking blue sky. “Weird contests and fan-service events break out on Warped Tour all the time. We’ve had guitar battles and shit like that… I think there was even a high note battle once on Warped Tour. Kellin probably won that if he was there. But, I don’t think there’s ever been a battle of the drummers… What do you think?”

I pondered over his idea for a long moment. It would be a sure way to gain some more attention, as long as I didn’t totally suck. There were some incredibly talented drummers here, and I would have to give it my all to keep up with them. It also sounded like a brilliant way to hang out with other bands and have some fun, which was priority number one for me. **_That sounds like a wicked idea! I’m game._**

A wide grin broke across Rian’s face, just as Alex and Zack came out of the bus, supporting a clearly hungover Jack, who was a groaning mess in some borrowed hoodie and sweatpants that hung off his scrawny body. Alex raised his eyebrows as his gaze landed on Rian and I. “You two look like you’re up to no good.” I just continued to smile widely while Rian explained his idea. I was fairly confident we could get Gabe and Mike on board for our idea, we just had to see if we could gather some of the other drummers on Warped Tour to make it a big event.

“I’ll start asking around this afternoon,” Rian said to me as he and his band members started walking back towards their bus. I had spied my own tour bus in the far corner and I was very well aware of how much I needed a shower. It looked like Jack was in a similar position. They all said their goodbyes, while I waved before retreating back to my bus, wondering what kind of condition Dawson had left it in. Despite the heavy thought, I found that I couldn’t wipe the smile of my face after spending time with All Time Low. This truly was the most comfortable and natural I had ever felt in my life.

I pulled the door open, not missing the shriek of protest from the hinges, which was quickly followed by the piercing screech of Kyle as he came running over to me. “WILLA!” He screamed loudly and picked me up, swinging me round in the air. I had to lower my head to make sure I didn’t hit the ceiling. As soon as I was set on my feet again, I was swept up into a hug by Jake, which was closely followed by Eric, and to my surprise, Kevin. Dawson was sitting on his bunk, legs crossed as he read through one of his magazines.

**_Hi guys, you miss me?_** I signed my greeting and was instantly met with four different responses about how worried they were. **_I’m fine. I was just making new friends._** I shrugged off my disappearance, brushing it off as if it were just a casual sleep-over. However, the sympathetic looks I was met with let me know my little ‘incident’ hadn’t gone unnoticed. They exchanged nervous glances with each other, apparently deciding unanimously not to bring up what had happened last night – something I was incredibly grateful for. I quickly explained that I needed a shower, causing everyone to get up and leave the bus, and therefore also dispelling the awkward tension that was in the air.

Once I was showered and feeling decidedly more awake than I had that morning, I got dressed in a pair of ripped skinny jeans and threw on one of the new Sleeping with Sirens vests that Jake had bought for me the previous day. I coupled it with my usual number of wristbands, which was somewhere between ten and fifteen. I put on my regular make-up – pale skin, dark eyes and dark lips – and slung a choker round my neck, coupling it with a silver pentagram necklace. After I was fully dressed, I walked outside to join the rest of the band and get started on our warm-ups.

Dawson was stood off to the side going through his vocal warm-ups, Eric was stretching out his upper body, and Jake and Kyle were alternating between running around the coach park and doing star-jumps. I took a spot beside Eric and began stretching with him. Stretching had become his pre-show warm-up after he overworked his muscles once trying to switch between consoles at a local gig we put on back home. He twisted himself round too far switching from one keyboard to another and was in agony for days after the concert.

I stretched out my legs, not wanting to get cramp in the back of my legs while on stage, before walking over to join Dawson. He had a sullen expression on his face, looking like a small child who had just dropped his ice-cream. I poked his arm, a playful notion I did whenever I wanted to grab his attention. He paused, turning his head slowly to look at me, mouth hanging open in shock. I sighed deeply and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. I felt him flinch at first, before he slowly wrapped his arms around me in return. After a long moment, I pulled away and gave him a small smile.

**_I forgive you, but you’re still an ass._** Dawson nodded, chuckling lightly. He swept me up in another tight hug and I couldn’t stop the wide grin spreading across my face. **_I can’t stay mad at you ass-butt. I’ll always need my big bro._**

The rest of the band had been silently watching our exchange behind me, but the silence was broken by a hearty chuckle from Kyle. “Ass-butt? You been binge-watching Supernatural _again_?” I shrugged my shoulders, still smiling widely. The five of us finished our warm-ups together, the air already feeling clearer as we headed towards the stage. We were all laughing and messing around with each other once more and all five of us felt as though we were indestructible. Kevin helped us all get suited-up in our tech and even he was grinning like a buffoon, clearly relishing the once-again calm aura that surrounded the band – but Dawson and I in particular.

We headed onto the stage, a renewed sense of excitement. It still felt as magical as it had the previous day when we had played our first show of the tour. It was a totally new group of fans – people who had come to hear our music and I buzzed with the anticipation of it all. My hands were itching as I sat at my drum-kit, making a couple of last minute tweaks to the kit. We were all so used to setting up our own equipment for our gigs, so we liked to double-check after the techs had set up for us. Doing my last warm-up, I started playing a short motif on my drums, loosening up my muscles, ready to begin. Eric joined me in, stretching his fingers out across the keyboard while the other three checked the tuning on their guitars. I smiled widely, staring out over the crowd. It looked bigger than the one we had the previous day and there were enthusiastic chants coming from just in front of the stage. All Time Low, Sleeping with Sirens and Pierce the Veil were all gathered at the very front of the stage, cheering loudly and waving. I waved back, feeling my cheeks sting pleasantly as I enjoyed the moment.

**_  
_ **

****


	6. Just Give Me A Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter comes from my favourite song by a band called BTS. The song is called 'Butterfly'. Enjoy *^w^*

**_Vic Fuentes_ **

 

Much to my surprise, it turns out the absolute hulk that is my little brother is quite possibly one of the biggest fanboys I have ever seen. The single-man circle-pit he had formed was behaviour I expected more from Kellin or Jaime or the All Time Low boys… Not Mike. And don’t even get me started on the screaming cheers of ‘Willa!’ over and over again. It was really grating on my nerves and I couldn’t stop the sour look that was no doubt spreading over my face.

“Wow, do you really hate their music so much Vic?” I jumped back as a low voice rumbled in my ear. I felt the air brush against my cheek as Kellin broke out in a wide grin beside me. His tongue was poking out between his teeth in that boyish smirk that I found myself rolling my eyes at.

“No, not at all. I love their music.” I turned my eyes back to the stage, watching as Willa threw a broken drumstick at Kyle on the stage, before reaching down for another one. I’m sure their tour manager would be a little happier it’s just drumsticks she’s breaking this time around.

“Well, you should tell your face that. You know there are fans everywhere taking videos right?”

I raised my eyebrows, shooting Kellin an incredulous look. “You’re gonna lecture me about what I should or should not be doing in front of video cameras? After you literally just invaded my personal space?” Kellin just shrugged and turned back to watch the band perform the rest of their set. I shook my head and muttered about Kellin’s unbelievable nature under my breath.

I tried to forget about Mike and Kellin, and just everyone in general as I watched the rest of Mute Farewell’s set. Somehow, Willa was able to reign in her excitement (at least compared to yesterday’s performance anyway) and still completely let go and pack her drumming with all the energy she could muster. If music was her way of communicating, then I felt every ounce of excitement she threw at her drum-kit. But, it wasn’t just her unbridled excitement that shone through. At some points, I could sense the frustration, maybe even anger, that she unleashed. She worked her frustrations out, her face the picture of determination until the song ended, and then that wide grin would reappear, the calm ecstasy washing over her once more.

I found myself grinning along stupidly as I watched her, not minding the stares from fans all around us as they all were amazed at Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens and All Time Low all watching this fairly new band perform together. We had certainly attracted quite a crowd, who were begging for us all to interact with each other, maybe put on a playful show for the cameras. But as I surveyed our little group, almost everyone’s attention was on the band on stage. Alex was showcasing his own boyish grin, eyes fixed on Willa just as mine had been only a few moments ago. Zack and Rian were watching with enthusiastic smiles, discussing songs with each other and watching a hung-over Jack Barakat try to climb on my brother’s shoulders. _Try_ being the operative word in that sentence. Kellin, Gabe and Justin more successfully tackled Mike, forming a mosh-pit-circle-pit with him so he wasn’t throwing himself around by his lonesome. Jaime and Tony were stood near me, watching the whole band and nodding their heads along to the beat.

Dawson announced that they had come to the last song of their set – Beautiful Silence – and all heads snapped up to focus on Willa as she attacked her drum-kit once more – but with a little more finesse than she had last time. I was most excited to hear this song, as it was the song Dawson and Eric had written for Willa, and it was the title track on their debut album. It was also the song I had listened to on repeat last night. After Willa had disappeared and the other bands went their separate ways in favour of sleep, I plugged my earphones in last night and listened to all of Mute Farewell’s discography. I even found some low-quality footage taken from a gig they had performed back home when they were just starting out. Willa was still in her teens and her hair was cut a lot shorter and didn’t have as much colour in it, but she hadn’t really changed that much since she was seventeen. Her wide excited grin was still plastered across her face and she threw everything she had into playing her drums. She always looked beautiful sat behind her drum-kit, her smile radiating beautifully from the back of the stage.

I sang along to every word, my voice lost to the crowd of fans that sang too, standing in solidarity with the band. That was my favourite part about performing – when your fans (both old and new) sang along regardless of talent, or whether they even knew all the lyrics or just the odd line. When they hold their fists in the air, wrists decorated with the love they have for music in the form of colourful rubber. I especially loved those moments when I did not need to sing and instead the lyrics could be heard from the voices of the thousand or so fans. That is what every band wishes for – it is the reason they write and play – for those precious moments.

The crowd erupted as Mute Farewell closed their set, Willa accepting a piggyback from her brother as he led the band off the stage. The techs began dismantling the stage in preparation for the next set from I Prevail. The band made their way to us, all of them hair and clothes dripping with sweat, but none of them looked like they were too bothered about it as they exchanged hugs with each other. The hugs were soon extended when Willa ran at us with her arms outstretched, pulling both me and Mike in for a hug. She had to stand on her tip-toes to reach Mike’s neck, even in her heeled boots. As she held onto us, my arm found its way around her back, my hand gently running through her long, sweat-soaked hair. I should have cringed at the contact, but my chest swelled in warmth with her pressed up against me.

The warmth disappeared quickly once she had pulled away, sweeping up Alex and Kellin, and Tony and Jaime in hugs as well. Mike nudged my shoulder, grinning widely, looking like a creep. I scowled at him and made my rounds, congratulating the rest of the band on their performance. The audience was even bigger than the one they had the previous day, which was probably why they were all sporting these ear-to-ear ecstatic grins on their faces.

“It looks like you made up with your brother, Willa.” I overheard Alex after Willa had released him and Kellin from one of her hugs. “You kicked ass on the stage, I bet you could give Rian a run for his money.”

“Oh, no doubt she could,” Rian answered Alex, as he went in for a hug as well.

I felt like I was missing out on something – something big. Willa seemed comfortable with All Time Low now, whereas Mike had told me that the ever-growing crowd of people had sent Willa’s nerves to shot and she had freaked out, leading to her disappearance early on.

Willa told us that she was going to take a shower and then catch up with us later, and All Time Low and Sleeping with Sirens soon went off in different directions, leaving me with Mike, Tony and Jaime. We made our way back to the bands area, in desperate search of some lunch when Jaime’s annoying voice chirped up: “Vic’s got it bad!”

Before I knew it, the three of them were jeering and mocking me. I rolled my eyes at the behaviour, which earned more mocking and then the request to ‘lighten up’ and ‘stop being such a bitch’. I knew I was in a bad mood. I didn’t know why, but my mood had soured considerably in the past hour, despite waking up in a happy mood this morning. We were back home, in sunny San Diego and the four of us were going to spend the day enjoying the beach tomorrow, hopefully getting some of our friends to join us. Kellin seemed excited when I mentioned it to him, so now I just had to ask Willa…

 

**_Willa_ **

****

If you were to ask a spiritual person, I’m sure they would have told you that the band’s aura was a shining ball of sunshine after our second show on Warped Tour. Dawson and I had resumed our usual playful antics and we were preparing for an interview with someone from Alternative Press – our first real interview that wasn’t from a student writing for the local paper. Once I was showered and dressed in an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt and a red and black chequered print skirt, I joined the rest of the band and Kevin, just as the interviewer from AP walked over to us, a cameraman following close behind her.

“Hi there, I’m Chloe from Alternative Press, it’s nice to meet you guys!” She introduced herself as the cameraman started preparing for the short interview with us. Kevin had set up a small gazebo outside our bus and had even put out chairs for everyone to sit on. He really was the complete opposite of the rest of the band with his organised and professional nature. He had even got us to promise to behave well on camera for him, although I couldn’t see that promise lasting very long.

We got ourselves seated, with Dawson sat next to Chloe, then Kyle, Eric, Jake and lastly, me sat at the other end. The interview started off in a fairly standard way, with a relaxed atmosphere, and for the most part Dawson and the boys gave serious answers. But it took a turn quickly, which things often did when I was involved.

“So, there’s been a lot of hype the last couple of days surrounding the band on Twitter. There’s a lot of pictures of you guys hanging out with Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. Kellin Quinn actually retweeted this picture this morning on his Twitter.” We were shown a picture of me sitting on top of Kellin’s shoulders, which had been taken when we were watching All Time Low play the previous day. I felt the colour drain from my cheeks, my blood running cold when I saw the photo. It had been retweeted from Kellin’s account over fifty thousand times. “Are you guys close?” The question was general, but Chloe looked at me as she spoke, and I could feel the boys’ eyes on me. They were probably all nervous, and trying to come up with some response to get the focus off me. I swallowed a lump in my throat, my palms sweaty as I began signing an answer, trying to take the pressure off Dawson and the others.

**_We all became fast friends yesterday. Kellin was helping me see All Time Low, because I’m so short!_ **

The boys laughed at me as Dawson translated for the interviewer. I could always rely on my boys to quickly make light of an awkward situation and lighten up a dark mood. “Our Wills is a tiny bean!” Kyle teased, leaning over Eric and Jake to tousle my hair. I stuck my tongue out at him and gave him the middle finger, causing more ruckus laughter to erupt from our little group. Even I was grinning stupidly as the boys resumed messing around with each other, much like Kevin had begged them not to.

We finished the interview on a high note, everyone smiling widely at our childish antics. I’ll be the first to admit that our entire band were immature. In fact, even Kevin had his moments when he would take off his tie and join in our childish behaviour. The interviewer might have been weirded out by us, but we did our job. We were getting ourselves out there, and I knew that silliness sells. Fans wanted to see their favourite bands acting like dorks and playing around with each other. Give off the illusion that we’re ordinary people – just like them. Which is one hundred percent true, of course.

Once Chloe and her cameraman (who never introduced himself) left, moving on to talk to the next band, I was still sat down, watching as Kyle and Jake broke out in a play-fight and started rugby tackling each other. Eric and Dawson had picked sides and quickly organised a bet with each other, Dawson betting on Kyle and Eric betting on Jake. I watched, absentmindedly playing on my phone and replying to texts from my mum. She had no doubt sent the same ones to Dawson, checking we were alright and asking how living the dream was going.

“Yo, what’s with the fight?” My head snapped up at the voice from behind me. Kellin was standing just behind me, his black hair falling in his face. He puffed out a breath of air, blowing his hair away from his eyes, although it was pointless really, as it found its way back over his eyes. I opened up a new notes tab on my phone and typed out a reply to Kellin.

**_Jake probably made fun of Kyle’s hair again. Eric and Dawson have placed bets._ **

“Just normal stuff, then?” he asked and I nodded, grinning widely. He took up the seat next to me, seeing as Jake was now otherwise engaged. “Shall we make a bet, then? How about loser buys lunch?” I nodded in agreement, waiting for Kellin to place his bet. I had a feeling I knew where he’d put his money. Jake looked scrawny and weak compared with Kyle, but he could hold his own against the long-haired muscly freak. “Okay, I’ll put my money on Mr. Hair over there.” He pointed to where Kyle was trying to use his hair as a weapon, the strands unceremoniously whipping Jake in the face.

**_Alright then, I better pray Jake wins then._ **

Kellin smirked up at me, thinking that he had me beat, but his cheeky grin quickly disappeared when Jake abruptly flipped Kyle over his shoulder and pinned him to the ground. Although, Kyle couldn’t move anyway as the sudden hard contact with the ground had winded him.

“Oh shit!” Kellin exclaimed, while Eric and I exchanged hi-fives. “You knew that would happen, didn’t you?” I shrugged my shoulders, grinning widely as Kellin took out his wallet. “Lunch is on me then. I hope you’re hungry.” I nodded and accepted the arm Kellin held out for me to take, waving a quick ‘bye’ to my band members.

The walk was fairly quiet as we made our way to the food tents. Kellin asked me what I fancied, but I shrugged, letting him pick. He bought a couple of burgers for us and led me to a small patch of grass near his tour bus. We sat down and dug into our burgers in silence, just enjoying the food and each other’s company. It was peaceful, even with all the commotion and excitement of Warped Tour.

“Hey,” Kellin started as I swallowed the last bite of my cheeseburger. “Wanna do something fun?” he asked me. I nodded, giving him a questioning look, wondering what he had planned. “Let’s go crash Pierce the Veil’s fan-signing event!” Before I could silently protest, Kellin had grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him, leading me to a cordoned off area where fans with special passes were queueing up to meet Pierce the Veil. Each band was allocated a day on the Warped Tour to have a special fan event. Mute Farewell’s day was towards the end of the tour on our stop-over in Louisiana. It would be a way for us to thank the fans that got us to where we are now.

We joined the queue after quickly buying a couple of CDs for the boys to sign. I was grinning stupidly as Kellin and I messed around taking selfies in the queue. We both held up our CDs, having both chosen Collide with the Sky – it was my favourite. I already had a copy of the album, but I would gladly donate it in favour of a signed copy.

“Do you have twitter?” he asked me, after taking a silly photo, brandishing our CDs in front of our faces, wide-eyed as we looked at the camera. I nodded and took his phone off him, searching for my twitter handle: **_@WillaFarewell._** My own phone then chimed with a notification – **_@KellinQuinn_** _followed you!_

We were now standing at the front of the queue, but the Pierce the Veil members hadn’t spotted us yet. Kellin had begged the fans that had seen us to keep things quiet – leave it as a surprise. We turned our backs to the table where the band was sat and Kellin pulled out his phone to take another selfie, with the band in the back of the picture. I grinned widely, pointing at Jaime, who was sat directly behind where we were standing. “Awesome, that’s going on twitter!” Kellin chuckled as he looked through the pictures we had taken. The photo soon went up on the social media platform with the caption:

_Me and **@WillaFarewell** are gate-crashing Pierce the Veil’s fan-signing! Stay tuned for updates!_

“Next two!” The guy on security motioned for Kellin and I to move forward. We did so quietly, waiting for someone to notice us. Jaime had just finished talking to the fan who was in front of us in the queue and looked up with a bright smile to greet his next fan. That smile quickly dropped when he saw who was approaching.

“You are fucking kidding me!” Jaime’s cursing soon drew the attention of the other members, who all burst into laughter, shaking their heads at us. Jaime stood up to hug us both, before reclaiming his seat, his grin wider than before. “You guys are ridiculous. And you bought CDs?”

“Well we couldn’t turn up empty-handed to your fan-sign, could we? Otherwise, what would you sign?” Kellin batted his eyelashes innocently, which Jaime scoffed at.

“I can make a few suggestions,” he grumbled, taking the CD off Kellin. He started writing a little message, no doubt calling Kellin some horrendous name.

“That’s reserved for Vic,” Kellin winked. Jaime shook his head, a smile threatening to stretch across his face at Kellin’s crass remark. The spiky-haired bassist took my CD and began scribbling a message in the booklet with his sharpie. He returned our CDs, sent us a sly smile and sent us along to see the next band member – Tony.

Tony grinned widely and much like Jaime, exchanged hugs with us before taking our CDs. I hadn’t had a chance to read Jaime’s message yet, and it didn’t look like I would any time soon, as Tony passed my CD along to Mike, before I had the chance to look. I pouted at Tony, who chuckled and stood up to ruffle my hair. I scowled, straightening my hair out as we moved onto Mike, who did the same as Tony – signed my CD and then passed it along to Vic, without me being able to see. Kellin shrugged at me when I gave him a questioning look. Judging by the Sleeping with Sirens’ singer’s face, Mike had written something equally crass to whatever Jaime had put on Kellin’s CD.

We moved onto the last band member – Vic, who was grinning devilishly as he looked through the new additions to my CD. Vic stood up to hug us both, his hair – which smelled of his apple-scented shampoo – tickled my nose as his arms wrapped around my middle tightly. As he pulled away, he flashed me a wide grin, showcasing those perfect pearly teeth. He then embraced Kellin and whispered something in the other singer’s ear. They both nodded and Vic sat down, getting back to work with signing CDs. I listened as he and Kellin teased each other, still trying to see what was written on the CD’s booklet.

Vic returned our CDs with the promise to catch up with us later, giving both to Kellin’s waiting hands. I reached for my CD, but Kellin suddenly stretched his arm up high, out of my reach. He smirked, waving it above his head as he led me back towards our tour buses. “Vic said I can’t give this to you until I get you back to your tour bus.” I frowned, following after him as he continued to taunt me.

We approached the worn-out old tour bus when Kellin finally relinquished his hold on my CD. He explained that he had to get ready for his show, but I barely heard a word in my excitement. I wasn’t even able to give him a goodbye – running into the tour bus and climbing into my bunk as soon as the CD was within my grasp. I made a mental note to apologize to him later. I opened the CD up and eagerly slid the booklet out of its holder. As I held it gingerly in my hands (it had now become the most important possession I owned), I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face. Yet, at the same time, my hands shook with nervousness. I opened the booklet, eyes wide as I took in the black and red sharpie scrawls inside…


	7. Things Are Looking Up, Oh Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Paramore!  
> This chapter features lots of happy fluffy goodness before we get to the nitty-gritty! Cannot decide - Kellin, Vic or Alex? Please let me know what you would like to see?  
> And as always, enjoy! *^w^*

 

**_Willa_ **

I traced over the permanent ink marks all over the CD’s booklet, mesmerised by the messy scrawls. Each of the four messages had been signed the same way, although they were all different. But the same three things finished off each scrawl – a name, a phone number and a kiss. The first message was written in a bright red sharpie and was obviously the work of Jaime, who had signed his message off with ‘love Hime-Time x’ and his phone number.

**_Yo Wills! It’s been awesome hanging out with you! Like having a little sis we can tease. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call your Uncle Jaime. I mean that in a non-pervy way of course. And don’t forget your swimsuit tomorrow! (Again – not pervy) Love Hime-Time x_ **

A frown spread across my face as I read through the message. _‘Why would I need my swimsuit?’_ I thought to myself, silently laughing as I re-read through it. The thought of calling him Uncle Jaime was a bit strange, but I could see the endearment in the message. I grinned widely, moving onto the next set of much neater scrawls – this time in black ink. I was secretly thankful that Dawson and the others had clearly all gone out to get food together.

**_Hey Willa, I know we haven’t talked much, but it’s been really cool hanging out. I hope we can be good friends. I’ll try and keep Jaime under control for you in the future. Keep smiling! Your friend, Turtle x_ **

I could feel a lump forming in the back of my throat as I read through Tony’s message. It was sweet, just like him and it brought a tear to my eye. I made a quick mental note to try and make more of an effort to talk with the shy guitarist. With that in mind, I moved onto the next message, also written in thick black sharpie.

**_Dude! Kellin is rubbing off on you. You shouldn’t hang around with him so much! I’m joking of course, but seriously, we’re much cooler than he is. We should do lunch properly sometime. Stay awesome! Mike x_ **

My face lit up with a bright smile again. If Kellin were still here, I could imagine the quip he would make in return of Mike’s comments. My smile lingered as I moved on to the final message. The red sharpie had returned, this time in the form of writing that was much neater than Jaime’s.

**_Hi Willa, I just wanna let you know how amazing I think you are. Don’t ever forget we’re all here for you. If you’re ever feeling low, listen to this CD and remember we’re only a phone call away, no matter where we are. Yours, Vic x_ **

**_P.S. Beach tomorrow? x_ **

The tears that had formed in the corners of my eyes at Tony’s message were now spilling over, trailing over my cheeks and catching at the corners of my impossibly wide smile. I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried quite like this. Although, it was probably the first time I truly felt I had been accepted as part of my family, which was going back some years. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing, but that was okay. My parents and Dawson and the band were the most understanding and loving people I had ever met, and I was so grateful for everything they had ever done for me, but there was something in those messages from the Pierce the Veil members that meant more to me than anything in my life. I felt like for the first time, things were looking up. Things would get better and maybe – just maybe one day – I would find my voice again…

I was startled from my thoughts by the creaking hinge as the tour bus was opened. The usual sounds of laughter and arguing filled my ears as the rest of the band entered the bus. Silence quickly fell once more when they spotted me. I tried to keep my head down low, but the tears seemed to be never-ending. Dawson climbed up onto my bed with me, while the rest of the band filed back out of the bus, choosing to give us our privacy, something I would thank them later for. I was crying over something so stupid, despite being the happiest I had ever felt.

Dawson sat next to me and pulled me into his lap, circling his arms around me. “Hey Wills, what’s the matter? Did your little date with Kellin not go well? If you need me to kick him I can do!”

I shook my head, letting a breath laugh escape. The noise didn’t go unnoticed by Dawson. The few times I had let out a quiet semblance of a laugh, Dawson always grinned stupidly, as if it was the best sound he had ever heard. I handed him my new CD, watching his expression as he took out the booklet and glanced over the messy sharpie scrawls inside.

“Is this what’s got you so upset?” I nodded, pouting as a condescending snigger tore from my brother’s throat. I punched his arm lightly, which he ignored in favour of teasing me further. “Shouldn’t you be happy?”

**_I am,_** I signed for him, sighing in defeat as he giggled even more. **_Fuck you, asshat._** I shoved him away, crawling out of his lap and snatching the booklet back, folding it up neatly in the CD case and storing it away in my bag safely, but not before I put all the new phone numbers in my phone, under the names: Hime-Time, Turtle, Mike Wazowski, and Vicky. I started typing out messages for the band, thanking them all for their kind messages. I figured they wouldn’t get them until later, but I asked them what they were planning for tomorrow. I know it was a free day, so we were planning to hang around the San Diego coastline before heading off early tomorrow night to Phoenix, Arizona.

I poked my brother until I got his attention, as he was currently scrolling his twitter feed. He looked up at me with a dumb expression that almost distracted me from the pressing thought on my mind. **_Can we go into town?_** He gave me a questioning look, his face taking on an even dumber expression… if that was possible. **_I think we might be going to the beach tomorrow._**

Dawson grinned at me widely. He always did get excited by the prospect of trips to the sandy centre of gravitation for heavily sunburnt, scantily-clad twenty-somethings. The few times the five of us had been to the beach together were spent with Eric, Jake and I watching my brother and Kyle creep out almost every girl on the beach.

“I fucking love the beach!” Dawson declared loudly, looking very much like a small kid with a severe bad language problem as he dashed off the bus to tell the others the good news. I slowly made my way off the bunk and walked off the bus to join the rest of the band, who were now looking like excited children who had just been told they could live in a toy store for the rest of their lives. In his excited mood, Dawson didn’t even mind when I launched myself onto his back, letting him piggy-back me all the way out of the tour-site and into the main town. On the way, a few fans – some of which had recently gotten into us after seeing our performance that day – asked to take pictures, which we happily obliged. We posed, most of the time pulling silly faces, with fans and concert-goers who didn’t even know us. We really didn’t care – we were just having a good time and putting our name out there.

Half-way into town, Eric’s phone started ringing his loudly, blasting out Linkin Park’s ‘Crawlin’ as we walked down the street. Naturally, it was just Kevin panicking and screaming down the phone at us as we had disappeared from the venue completely. It earned us a few looks off the locals, who were not amused with Eric’s ringtone, nor our state of dress apparently. We looked like quite the gang of misfits to anyone passing by. I was sat atop my brother’s shoulders, totally rocking my casual emo look, while my brother was sporting a pair of black, thoroughly ripped skinny jeans, an Iron Maiden t-shirt and black converse. His shoulder length yellow-blonde hair and the print on his t-shirt was the only semblance of colour on him and some people found that and his lip ring and ear piercings threatening for some reason.

Although, that didn’t begin to live up to the looks and remarks Kyle got as we walked down the streets. Many people sneered at Kyle’s appearance as we passed and some parents would even cross the street with their small children just to avoid us, eyes trained on Kyle the whole time. Maybe it was the black ink that decorated his exposed arms. He wore a blank tank-top with a pair of camo-print cargo pants. His hair hung just passed his waist and his large gauges and piercings were on show. He had a lip ring on his bottom lip, much like Dawson, but he also had a small stud just underneath his lip and two piercings in his left eyebrow.

Jake sniggered at the looks and comments Kyle received, not realising that a few looks were directed at him as well. His jet black fringe was hanging in front of his right-eye, hiding the piercing in his eye-brow, but the six piercings in his left ear drew quite the bout of attention. Each piercing was connected by a chain, running the length of his ear. His lobes were also stretched, but not on the same level as Kyle’s as Jake had a medium-sized taper running through his earlobe. He was also sporting a black nose ring and more eyeliner than I was, clearly trying to go for that Pete Wentz look. It suited him though.

Eric was probably the only normal-looking one, which got him a few stares. ‘ _Why on Earth would he hang out with us? He’s so normal._ ’ His clothing choices seemed to focus on skinny jeans or beige cargo pants, t-shirts (either plain or band merch) and flannel shirts and leather jackets. Eric liked to keep things simple. While the rest of us spent large amounts of money on perfecting our looks, Eric preferred to indulge in the latest tech, either for his music or his part-time graphic design hobby. However, just like the rest of us, he had his little niche. That one signature thing that he was never seen without. Eric was a hoarder for wristbands, much like myself. However, whereas I would sometimes trade my wristbands for fingerless gloves, or just leave them off completely, Eric was never seen without his. We suspected that he slept with them on and showered with them, which was why he so often had to replace them.

We entered a surf shop on the main street not too far away from the concert venue and immediately felt out of place with the bright interior. The shop was decorated to look like the beach front, with pictures of blonde bombshells modelling the latest scuba gear or wetsuits for wind-surfers. We split into two groups: Jake, Eric and Kyle wandered off to browse the shop and find some suitable shorts for the boys to wear, with Eric being trusted to pick something out for my brother. Dawson came with me to help me pick out a swimsuit. We looked through all the one-piece swimsuits, none of which looking particularly attractive, before I settled on a simple black bikini set. It had a thin string that tied at the back, meaning that most of my back would be on show. My brother gave me a worried glance as I picked out the outfit.

“Are you sure about that one? Your tattoo will be on show.”

I draped the bikini over my arm so I could reply to my brother. **_Yeah, I know. I think the others will want to see it._**

“Yeah, but won’t the _other stuff_ be on show too?”

I shook my head, smiling softly. **_They’re a part of the tattoo and if I can’t show off my ink, then what’s the point?_**

Dawson nodded his head, seeming to understand my response. He took the bikini from me and a pair of long, black swim-shorts Eric had picked out to the counter and paid the cashier. He looked back at me, eyes rolling at the stunned expression from the freckled tween manning the till. The five of us left the store, bubbling in anticipation for the following day.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, my wardrobe wasn’t limited to just emo clothes and band merchandise. In Louisiana, the Summer came with a blistering heat, which made black clothes almost redundant most of the time. When I wasn’t wearing my rock gear, I had quite the affinity for floral print and flower crowns. It was no surprise to the band when I got dressed that morning in pale, ripped high-waisted shorts, a translucent crop top made from a thin black material with flowers decorating it and beaded sandals. The crop top was lined with tassels along the bottom and the shorts were long enough to cover my bum, but short enough to show off the garter belt tattoo on my leg. Underneath, I wore my new bikini, thoroughly excited and ready to take a dip in the ocean later in the afternoon.

I finished off my look with a thin neon pink choker round my neck and a flower crown with white and peach flowers, just as a knock was heard at our door. The boys were all dressed in their new shorts, coupled with various band t-shirts. Kyle typically wore an Iron Maiden shirt, Jake was wearing a Blink-182 shirt, Dawson had on a Bullet for my Valentine tee and Eric had paired a Linkin Park top with a pale blue flannel shirt. Even Kevin was going to let loose and join us, wearing his own pair of long, khaki shorts and a white Pink Floyd t-shirt. I opened the door, grinning widely as I was met with the smiling faces of Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens and All Time Low. Apparently, Jaime had gotten over excited and invited everyone on Warped Tour to join us, but some of the bands had decided to leave for Phoenix this morning and relax there instead.

I stepped down from the bus, revelling in the stunned looks from the other bands. Many stood there with mouths hanging agape and a couple of the boys looked at my floral look with appreciation. Even I have to admit my bum looked awesome in those shorts.

“Willa, you look awesome!” Kellin swept me up in a hug, spinning me round as my feet left the ground. As he set me down again, I rummaged through my satchel, which I had packed that morning with essential items, such as extra flower crowns. I snatched up one with magenta flowers and promptly placed it on Kellin’s head. I had expected him to pull a pouty face and throw it back at me, but of course this was Kellin Quinn… Unpredictable as ever. He wore it with pride, leading us down the street towards the beach and pretending to know where he was going, as Tony whispered in his ear which way to turn.

Our large group followed the obnoxious Sleeping with Sirens singer all the way down to the San Diego beach front, cheering loudly as we basked in the warm sun and each other’s company. Dawson and I walked with Mike and Vic, watching as Jaime, Kyle and Jake took off down the street at full pace, trying to outrace each other or something equally dumb. The three of them were screaming loudly, as Jaime beat our band members to a finishing marker only they knew of, and soon after Kyle and Jake broke out in another fight. Remembering what happened last time, Kellin tried to strike up a bet with Gabe on who would win, where the loser of the bet would buy lunch for everyone. Unsurprisingly, Gabe wasn’t about to rise to Kellin’s challenge, knowing that the singer was up to something, but thankfully for Kellin, someone did accept the bet. Jack Barakat, who swore loud enough for the whole of San Diego beach to hear when Kyle ended up pinned on his back, underneath Jake.

“Jake! Be careful!” Dawson scolded our bassist. “All our stuff is in Kyle’s bag!” The boys had dumped all their phones in a large backpack with a bunch of towels and spare clothes and after losing several rounds of rock, paper, scissors, Kyle was ‘elected’ to carry said backpack.

We set up camp, laying out some picnic rugs and setting up four large windbreaks to cordon ourselves off, which Zack and Rian had run off to get before meeting us on the beach. Alex and Jack began setting up a court for beach volleyball, which they just happened to have with them on their tour-bus, while the rest of us made ourselves comfortable on the picnic rugs. Once we were all settled, Dawson, Kyle and Jake began taking off their shirts, thoroughly enjoying the Summer heat. I reached into Kyle’s backpack and chucked three bottles of sunblock at them. Last time they let themselves enjoy the beach, the three of them came home looking like they had been dunked in a bucket of red paint.

Some of the other band members began following our example, with all of All Time Low, Mike, Jaime, Kellin, Justin, Gabe and Jack also taking their tops off and loading up on the sunblock. Vic, Tony and Nick looked at each other and shrugged, not really concerned with the sudden lack of clothing that was happening.

“Hey, Willa!” Dawson drew my attention and patted the space in front of him, spreading his legs out wide for me to sit between. “Want me to do your back?” I nodded and sat myself down in front of Dawson before taking my crop top off carefully, so as not to disrupt the flower crown on my head. I swept my hair up, hanging it over my shoulder out the way as Dawson started applying the sunblock to my back. I could tell that the others were trying to get a good look at my tattoo, but I smirked to myself, making them wait a little longer.

“All done!” Dawson announced. I threw my top back on, grinning when several faces pouted in my direction. We soon gave our lunch orders to All Time Low’s Jack, who, begrudgingly wandered off to find somewhere where he could buy burgers, tacos and a salad. Kevin and Eric went with him, the pair of them (under Kevin’s advisement) offering to help Jack carry all the food back.

As we waited, I dug around in my bag, picking out my kindle so I could continue reading the book I had started on the way to California. The boys were starting a beach volleyball tournament just off to the side while the beach was still fairly quiet, leaving me with Zack, Gabe, Justin, Vic and Tony. Vic and Tony plopped themselves down on either side of me, while Zack, Gabe and Justin shuffled themselves over, hoping to start a civilised conversation, which was near impossible with the likes of Jack Barakat, Alex Gaskarth, Kellin Quinn and Jaime Preciado around.

“What’cha reading?” Justin asked as he opened a packet of strawberry laces and passed them round. I took one and popped it in my mouth, letting the end dangle as I typed out a response on my phone. I caught my brother’s eye as he stood up to play a game against Alex and Rian with Kyle. He looked over, a familiar worried glint in his eye, checking to see if I was okay on my own. I nodded once, sending him a quick grin with the strawberry lace still dangling down my chin.

**_Doctor Sleep. It’s a Stephen King novel._ **

The boys just nodded as Vic appointed himself as my personal ‘text reader’. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled out another flower crown – this time with purple flowers – and placed it on Vic’s head. Vic giggled childishly before running over to tackle Kellin in a bear-hug, jumping up and down with the equally short singer.

“I got a flower crown too! Let’s be twins!”

The rest of us watched their obnoxious behaviour, smirking and rolling our eyes as the two singers ran off down the beach, hand-in-hand and taking fan-service to the next level.

“At least we got rid of them both,” Tony chortled. Our little group erupted into laughter and I found myself unable to keep the wide smile from my face. My cheeks were hurting from the happiness I couldn’t contain and I felt so relaxed as I stretched out my limbs. Just as Alex and Rian absolutely trashed my brother and Kyle at volleyball, I stood up, stretching out my muscles once more before running up to Jake and dragging him onto the volleyball court with me. Jake looked at me with a stunned expression when he suddenly found himself in front of the net with Jaime and Mike opposite us on the other side. We shared a sly smirk with each other and while Jaime and Mike began warming up, I pulled my crop top over my head, leaving me in just my shorts and bikini top. I never said I played fair…

  
 


End file.
